The Dude Abides

Hey Mark Teixiera and Scott Boras and John Terry....

2008-12-23T15:00:00.000-08:00

Fuck You!

Merry Christmas!

The Day My Optimism Stood Still

2008-12-13T13:19:00.000-08:00

Cynics like to talk about TV as nothing more then a vehicle for selling a bunch of crap to a bunch of dopes. Similar statements have been made about the Movies in relation to the sale of outrageously priced junk food. While I have often agreed with the former, I refused to understand the latter because of the semi-extraordinary streak I have been on recently when only paying to see thoroughly enjoyable films in the theaters. Coupled with rentals of Season 1-4 of "The Wire", my TV/Film viewing has been nothing but momentous since the Spring of 2008.

That was until today, the coldest day of the year in so many ways. I spent the full price of a movie to see "The Day the World Stood Still" staring Keanu Reeves. Granted I went into the film with limited expectations. I enjoyed the original, but found its message of hope and peace in the face of human ignorance a bit bland. I mean hey, whats wrong with a little bit of Anarchy? Why So Serious? and so forth. But the Cold War overtones are replaced with indignation over the way humans treat the planet earth. I felt "The Day After Tomorrow" drilled that point home well enough. Reeves, who has always been ridiculed for his remarkably stiff delivery, seems to mock the audience in the film, straining to sound and look like a statue. The GORT special effects are wasted, and the climax is as unsatisfying as my last evening at Mohegan Sun. The "Humans are stupid and destructive" approach worked in Dr.Strangelove, here it just becomes tedious. And this comes from someone who whole-heartedly agrees with the premise.

What got me were the trailers. It was after the trailers I realized the brutal truth, that I was sucked into the theater to watch a film I knew would be poor and yet felt a glow of satisfaction because it was simply a vehicle to show me what to expect in the spring of 2009, which may be the best season in the history of action movies. The three trailers prior to the film consisted of an extended trailer for the rebooting of "Star Trek", an extended trailer for "Terminator Salvation", and the first trailer out for "Wolverine:Origins". It was a fanboys wet dream. Out of the 40 people in the massive theater, I was the only one not to clap or "release" during that five minutes. People were most impressed with the Wolverine clip, simply for the inclusion of the "Gambit" character from the X-Men comics. With these films, along with Watchmen, 2009 should be fun.

Now I am off to watch more of The Wire, because Baltimore is a far more cold and heinous place then anything seen in a Keanu Reeves movie...

Friday at the Garden...

2008-11-29T09:38:00.001-08:00

One day, two teams, one arena....

Such tradition could only happen in New England. An early afternoon start for the Bruins was perfect for a rabid fanbase with a suprisingly hot team to cheer. After a freak goal against the run of play early in the first period, the New York Islanders wished they had still been eating leftovers. The second and third periods were all Bruins. 7 goals by 6 players paved the way for a demolition of epic holiday proportions. Last year such an onslaught was rarer then the occaisonal slim female Bruin fan. This year, the goals and the south end hoochies are out in force. Plus, you have not lived until you wait to take a piss with 75 other Bruin fans in one of the Garden's horrendously inadaquate restrooms on the balcony level. I concluded the Bruins part of the program by watching the B's drive their huge SUV's out of the players parking lot with a group of kids, their parents, and the aformentioned south end hoochies.

Intermission: 3 1/2 hours at The Fours, eating an overpriced "Larry Bird" and chatting it up with some overexurberant BU girls. One was "an education major". Needless to say, she hung of my every word of my ever growing "Tales of the Classroom Chronicles". The finance boys in the crowd could only talk about "the ups' and downs". I had the cranberry juice, and the natural diarectic jokes only subsided when I made it rain...Most bizarre moment-When I predicted out of the blue that Nebraska would miss the field goal, only to see them try an awful fake that ended in the freak UC touchdown. Ridonculous. I triumphantly left the bar to pick up my Cs tickets and wait in line.

I bought a new Celtics hat. Its fresh.

There actually isn't much to say about the game itself. The C's were dominent defensively, early dunks by Perk and KG blew the roof off the building, and Ray Allen's huge third quarter rendered a terrible evening by the Truth moot as the game was over for all intent and purposes by the start of the fourth. The constant calls for Scalabrine to shoot were ridiculous, until he popped out and drained a three, once again sending the crowd into a tizzy late in the fourth. In the end, the game ha a little bit of everything.

Conclusions from the day:
The better the team, the more hot female support the team gets. It was my first Garden experience under these consitions. This sounds great on the surface, but coupled with the over the top intensity of the family friendly atmosphere promoted in both games, this drastically alters the experience. The result is a unqiue dicotomy for professional sports as MMA takes the mantle as the most unsanitized sporting experience for fans from boxing. 10 of the 12 people in my row were on dates. The garden is not the place to expect a roudy good time.

In this time of economic crisis, the NBA is pricing out the fans bigtime. I sat in the same section and row for both games. After taxes I paid 20 bucks more for the Cs game. The majority of the lower bowl was corporate, and my center balcony section was all yuppie dudes and their neuveau riche girlfriends. Now this doesn't nessesarily mean the environment was comparable to the Rent or the Civic Center for a UConn game, as there weren't many grandparents out for their weekly trip from the home. However, there was a reason that the crowd for the B's game was in line out of North Station 2 1/2 hours before the game and I was the first in line for the C's game 60 minutes before the tip.

Th separation between myself and the city of Boston is healthy. I would not be able to function if I lived there. As anestitized as the games were, both teams took their performances to the next level. The final three Bruins goals were as poetic as anything that ahas ever been written. David Krejcis goal was as supreme an individual effort as the NHL has seen all season and Kessel's goal showed this team may have what it takes. Big test tonight aginast the Red Wings...

The Intro's were not as good as last season.

One of the celtics ball boys hit 5 of 6 from beyond he arch before the game, and couldn't have been older then 12. I'm assuming he was directly relate to one of the players, becuase while short, he looked far more prepared for the league then say, any current member of the Duke mens team.

In the words of O'Shea Jackson, it was a good day....

On the Take.....

2008-11-16T16:37:00.000-08:00

The New Bond film was better then "Casino Royale" despite having a far worse opening song, less hot chicks, and an implausible title/overall plot. The scene where Bond is taken into custody an takes out every agent in the elevator was bad ass.

The much anticipated Brock Lesner vs. Randy Couture bout for the UFC Heavyweight Title lived up to the hype, but after watching the end of the fight ten times, I am convinced it was fixed.

Taking a turn for the better....

2008-11-08T07:45:00.000-08:00

Can there be any coincedence that the same week my cat Mays Gilliam comes to live Middletown that America elects its first African Americn to the position of Presient?

Whats next? Now we can watch Martin...if we can still even afford cable....or DVD 's of the show Martin...or housing.

The C's vs Pistons on Sunday should be exciting. The addition of AI will make the Piston more exciting, but a further relience on the young guys may be a problem until McDyess returns. Actually according to the Globe it might be "If" he returns to the club.

Man U had been on a role until Wednesday's disappointing draw against Celtic in the UCL and a loss away to Arsenal this morning. Berbatov has been disappointing, while Christino Ronaldo has been slow to show the scoring touch that made him the world player of the year last year.

I was thinking alot this week about free will and hope. Sometimes, when things are seemingly always spiralling out of control at home and abroad it is nice to see simple acts of humanity that put that bad stuff into a more approporiate perspective. There are terrible things happening that need to stop, but for me this video made me feel proud that we have the capacity to connect more often to basic things that bring us together, instead of tearing us down.

Time to drive up to UConn, the men's soccer team is getting ready to romp all over Depaul in the Big East Quarterfinals.

God Damn &**^%$$^^&@

2008-10-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

Answer-The Boston Red Sox
Question-Which is the only team to hit three dingers in an inning and lose said post season game.

This October, the roll of Eddie Cicotte will be played by Josh Beckett. I mean wholly shit! I actually will not watch another Beckett start the rest of the post season. I'm Starting a "Play Wakefield" petition. His Payton Manning Face just made me puke on a kids Essay Test. Pathetic...

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

2008-10-10T20:51:00.001-07:00

The fine people of Minnesota have unleashed some of the most ridiculous shit ever on the general public. I just don't understand how people can be so ignorant....and I work with high school students.

The Top Five Jams on The Dude's IPOD This Week.
1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIvzwjVFvqk
2.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zo4JdTfDw0
3.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzqhJ_LTeaI&feature=related
4.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlEy3og5sms
5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_WQnzmV6WI

An extra diddy...I'll say it again, the Red Sox have to start this tradition in America.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7xvegPH_Lw

I skipped the first Red Sox-Rays game for Pre-season Celtics Basketball. More Analysis of the C's to come. For now, lets just say Bill Walker is for real.

I can see Iran from my house...and its economy sucks!

2008-10-05T12:45:00.001-07:00

In these challenging times it is good to know that the old standby's, like a dismantling of the Chicago Cubs in the playoffs and the industructability of the Subaru Impreza, are still illuminating our world and covering us all like a warm blanket.

For those pinning for Sam Harris' "The End of Faith" to be made into a movie, look no further then Bill Maher's "Religulous". Of coarse Maher comes across as hypocritical as he fervently attacks faith with such dogmatic vitrol, but his angle is dead on and use of humor for the first 3/4 of the film is like the Daily Show on steroids.

Somebody tell Jay Marriotti that Soriano can't be the new "October A-Rod" because A-Rod retains his position as the October A-Rod.

Alot of people have told me that this Pats team reminds them alot of the 2001 Patriots because the team has lots of holes and will play close games. I still think they are one more injury away from the Hugh Millen led 1991 Pats team.

JT O'Sullivan is better then Matt Cassell. In fact, he may be the 4th greatest QB in the history of the red and gold.

Bravo to TBS for putting Donny O' and Harald Reynolds together for the play by play of the Ray-White Sox. Good stuff. Between the TBS post season coverage and the TNT NBA coverage, the remnents of the Turner sports empire continue to be a bastian of glory in the wasteland that is professional sports coverage in America.

After a over a decade of sitting on the fence on the matter, I can now say with clarity that I am in fact down with O.P.P. .....The VHI Hip Hop Songs countdown was the clincher for me....

Randy Edsall abandoning the power running game 8 minutes into the first half versus UNC was as awful a tactical decision as a UConn coach has made since...well....Ray Reid didn't select Bobby Rhine to take the PK vs. Seton Hall in 98' NCAA Tourney.

Somebody has to answer me this; what is worse, being a Mets fan or a Cubs fan? I think it is closer then most people think.

The intensity of the WNBA finals has infultrated my classroom. Imagine my shock when two students debated the impact of expansion on the womens league. One said it depleated the talent pool. True, the San Antonio Silver Stars are a resent expansion team, but its inclusion is refreshing, like the TB Rays.

Speaking of the Rays, I retain my position that if the team loses a playoff series it should be relocated immediately. I'm partial to Hartford (New England's Rising Star!!), but I also think Las Vegas, New York, Nashville, or simple contraction are possibilites.

Me two months ago, "The addition of Patrick O'Bryant will make the C's a more dominent defensive team."

Me now, " The addition of Sam Cassell will cancel out the addition of Patrick O'Bryant in making the C's a more dominent defensive team."

The power running game...making offensive coordinators look brilliant since 1910!

Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush should go on tour, or better yet, run a telethon to bailout Nascar. Unfortunately, the extra 140 Billion dollars in pork that was added to the bill to bailout the financial sector only included $100,000 that will go to Nascar for public relations work. I know that BC and GHWB could do more to help out the only sport that contributes to the destruction of the O-Zone layer. What would Dale Earnhardt do?

Lawrence Maroney reminds me alot of Frank Gore, that is if Gore only got on the field for the last 5 weeks of the season.

Put me on the list of people who think that the film "W" will help John McCain. Nothing brings concervatives together like Hollywood, except for maybe free meth or closeted gay sex with other conservatives. Oliver Stone is such a pompus ass that he thrives on profitting from the horrors of the Bush Administration. I can't see what lampooning the guy who has been lampooned for the last 8 years does for anybody anymore. Partcularly from the guy who directed "Alexander".

Matt Cassell's Red Zone performance is jitterier then a saturated fat addict at taco bell. Mmmm..Taco Bell......

"I gotta say, today was a good day..."-O'Shea Jackson

Finding the Light in the Darkness through Hockey and The Nightwatchmen

2008-09-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have been both thrust to the back burner.

The American Financial Market is on the verge of complete collapse as the ineptitude of American leadership is exposed to the world.

Tom Brady blew out his knee ending the Patriots quest for the Super Bowl 8 minutes into the season.

And where do the people of New England turn as the world collapses around us?

No, not just Soxtober on NESN, but pre-season Boston Bruins Hockey. Thats right, the B's are back, Let the mediocrity begin....

The other major news story of the week not related to the coming global depression was that the great WR/PR/QB/DB Troy Brown retired on Thursday. God Speed TB, there was not a classier professional athlete anywhere in the world over the past 14 years then you

The Nightwatcmen's second album comes out on Tuesday and I could not be any more excited. In an era of flagrant commercialism, it is wonderful to see someone flying under the radar who is content being a passionate human being instead of a whore for the media.

When the St.Louis Rams are sold at the end of the season, any chance they come to Hartford? Lets make this happen!

Max Kellermen deserves the national 10 am ESPN radio show. Send Cowhurd back down the hole he crawled out from.

Lets us not underestimate Manchester City being bought by a trillion dollar mid-east consortium. With Russia running Chelsea, let us as Americans rise up in support of Man United and Aston Villa. The EPL is the first battle ground in the new cold war, and as a campaign promise, I would make this a top priority.

Do not let the West Coast Bias fool you. Manny Ramirez is doing nothing but creating bad karma for the Dodgers organization.

"Burn After Reading" was Malkovich's best performance since "Con Air".

If JD Drew slips and falls in the forrest, is he ever seen again? I mean, holy crap, Mike Lowell is looking as hobbled as Kirk Gibson in '88 as is still forcing himself into the lineup. Every two weeks Drew is going to play, then we get word he is going to see another specialist.

oh its on...lets get debatin'...Jim Leherer just busted out some Eisenhower ....that is soo Leherer....

"This is the End of the Beginning"-John McCain

Question of the month-How can we "control spending" in government without making any move to end the war in Iraq? That 20 Billion a month would look great if it stayed in our pockets.

Serenity Now....

Middletown is in the Building...

2008-09-09T15:52:00.000-07:00

Tom Brady's injury makes the Pats a 9-7 team at best. The only hope is that a few of the yonger guys step up and take on a Spartan View of the season...

All the more reason to get totally psyhed about the Celtics starting camp in a month.

The Men's soccer team is close to qualifying for the hexagonal final round of world cup qualifying for Concacaf....Feel the excitement? its a feva.....Don't read ito the Rev's destruction at the hands of semi-pro Joe Public in a 6-1 aggregate. There is only one other game the Revs need to win and that is the MLS Cup Championship Game.

Ever notice how the music political candidates always sucks and how this tends to be indicative of the ridiculous of elections? Its time the candates grow some balls and dish out the metal in their musical selections...

I'm convinced the only good thing to ever come from NYC is rap music

I am determined to win only one football related fantasy/pick'em league, a suicide pick'em
at the school. I feel good after a convincing win this past week with Philly. This week I am leaning with the Chargers, but may go with another NFC team, maybe the Giants.

Doin' a Palin

2008-09-05T17:16:00.001-07:00

Thats right, today I hunted moose and promoted hypocritical family values to large groups of white people.

After a long week, it is essential to kick back and jam some Floyd to help usher in a new NFL season...

Dustin Pedroia is my new favorite ballplayer of all time.

I have to admit that as excited as I am about football starting, I am even more excited that the NBA training camps start in a month. ....Time for the C's to repeat.....

I wore black socks this week, because I am a Maverick.

IF Tom Brady is healthy, then the NFL will witness the greatest team ever over the coarse of the next 6 months....But that is a big "IF".

Call me a traditionalist, but the new Metallica stuff still sucks. "The Day that never comes" is a good jam, but the rest of it is lame.

They are going to try make another Ghostbusters. I am feeling sick just thinking about it.

Creeping Death is the greatest Ramses II influenced song ever...

And just when your thought all hope in the world was lost...Now anyone can rent a member the USC cheerleading squad for $150 per member. God bless the planet earth!!!!!!!!

Gooooooooddddbyyyyeeeee Evvvvverrrrbodddyy!

2008-08-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

The Chris Russo era on WFAN has come to an end after a spring and summer and of discontent in the NYC. Thats right people. Mike and the Mad Dog is no more.

It was a wonderous juxtaposition all day. In NYC the city mourned the end of perhaps the greatest sports radio show ever, while in Boston WEEI and NESN worked to raise over $4,000,000 in two days in support of the Jimmy Fund to help fight cancer. Amazing.

Man United gets started Sunday in its campaign to defend the EPL title. Time to break out the scarves...

And then like that.......poof.....it's gone....

2008-08-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

This morning the US Mens soccer team crashed out of the Olympics with a 2-1 loss to Nigeria. Some will say the tournament was over when Brad Guzan was unable to save the the free kick against the Dutch. Some will say that it was losing Adu and Bradley to yellow cad accumulation. Others will say it was Micheal O's sending off just 3 minutes into the match with Nigeria. While others will say that it was coach Nowak's taking off of Jozy Altidore in the only game he was able to start in the entire tournament. It is a combination of them all, but I would also include the inclusion of Mcbride, whose lack of production was ridiculous. And spare me the "he's a ball control foward" crap. All the more reason that he was disposable against Nigeria.

The Sox game Tuesday night was also ridiculous. I totally knew the Rangers would come back after giving up 10 runs in the 1st inning. They have the best offesnse in the league and Charlie Zink is no Tim Wakefield. A similar set of games took palce in '03 against the Marlins when the Sox opened huge leads only to struggle to win. The Youkilis game winner was spectacular. As for the Byrd trade, lets hope his is still on the HGH, or he is the next coming of Jeff Suppan circa 2004.

A unqiue thing happened on the way to commentators bitching about American athletes making political statements during the Olympics, in the belief that sports somehow extended beyond the limits of human dignity...the nation of Russia invaded the nation of Georgia on the day of the opening ceremonies. Then the Cowboy denounced it, because apparently sanctimonius military aggression is soooo 2003......and he even sought a diplomatic conclusion. Bob Costas bizzare interview with the Cowboy was the topping on the cake.

The only thing better then Phelps winning 8 golds would be if he brought a Tibeten flag to the podium.

How to avoid the Olympics

2008-08-05T14:52:00.001-07:00

Naturally, I am dreading the smaltz-fest we now call the Olympics. With the Internet, all NBC coverage is pretty much shot, unless you are on summer vacation and can wake up at 4 am to watch an event. And that is the answer. By waking up early, anyone can watch the events as opposed to dealing with the crap NBC will be trodding out during primetime.

I plan on waking up at 4:55 am on thursday to watch the trials and tribulations of US mens soccer. Thus, I will be in bed by the time Bob Costas or whoever is anchoring the primeime coverage. Totally worth it!

When in Vegas........Leave Vegas....

2008-08-03T11:21:00.001-07:00

Can someone get Paul Pierce out of Las Vegas? I'm all for nights out on the town, but no good ever came from staying out beyond 2 in the morning especially if you are in the 702.

Manny, Romper Room, and Superliga...ahhhh Summer in America..

2008-07-31T16:42:00.000-07:00

Count me as one of those Red Sox fans who was the last to give up on Manny Ramirez. I don’t mind putting up with bizarre behavior to root for a winner. I am totally selfish like that. Right up until Tuesday night I felt the best move for the team was to keep Manny through the season. However, he essentially acted like a child in doing everything he could to be traded in the past two weeks. I like to think he cost himself money by acting in such an unprofessional way, but probably not. He will loose money because of his numbers. The fact is, statistics show the 2008 version of Manny is not the 2004 version. He even projected himself as somebody who would actually sabotage the team for the rest of the season even as they fight for a playoff spot. This included going into a proverbial “slow down” mode the last few weeks. Not running out a ground ball when your team is being no hit at home in the seventh inning against the best team in the league was inexcusable to me. Despite his talent Manny negatively impacted the teams chances of winning. There was word his teammates were fed up. Like when Kilborn left the Daily Show, it is the end of an era and hopefully a case of addition by subtraction.

Without Manny the Sox loose a great hitter, but it also puts an end to the “Era of the Diva”. The club should now be a hustling machine, and hopefully the club can invest the 20 million wisely this offseason. I do not think this is a projected salary dump. I also think this move will allow Tito to live a few more years, which is important considering the health issues he is dealing with. Manny put Tito in an awful position, even after Tito had covered for him for years. This pissed me off as much as anything.

Unfortunately, this situation destroys Manny’s legacy in New England. He was a supreme talent who never grew up. He is going to play well in the NL for the Dodgers and for whoever overpays him this offseason, maybe the Yanks. I think the Sox are letting go at the right time. Manny’s bat will continue to slow down, thus not justifying his detrimental behavior. They survived the “Post Clemens Era”, the “Post Mo Period” the “Post Nomar Period”, and the “Post Pedro Period”. They are the reigning World Champions; something tells me they will be fine. Manny on the other hand will have to deal with the “Curse of Mo Vaughn”, and hope he can even play another healthy season. My advice to him, sign with Royals this offseason even if it means a massive paycut. This will alleviate the pressure that Manny rejects from an obsessive fan base and allow him to play baseball and be accepted as “goofy” instead of a “cancer”.

I spent the last two days in Foxboro at Patriots Training Camp. The team looks solid, even with Vrabel, Welker, and Ellis Hobbs on the PUP list. Here are a few observations….

-Rodney Harrison has this “training camp” thing down. He has this “go through the motions, lay a heavy lick on an unsuspecting special team’s player, make the coach think you are the hardest working/baddest mother#@$%# on the field” tactic down. And that was just his second day playing thus far.

-Watching Tom Brady sprint the assignment coaches to the next stations and run laps after screwing up was awesome.

-Belichek yelling “Run though the line Maroney” was the best moment of two days. Forget all the hits and great catches and bottles of water for $3.75. Having the lead RB get called out by the head coach on sprinting drills was why training camp exists. Classic Double B.

-I now support social segregation of fans based on interest in football. 90% of the fans go to the free practices to get autographs. They are like leeches. Of this large group of people, 75 percent were made up of kids under 12. I was looking for some Disney Pixar character to show up and try to block field goals. Losers like me who analyze the drills and watched the interactions between coaches and players to better understand the team as it gets prepared for 2009/2009 because we love football are forced to deal with “whose number 17?” or “wow, Tom Brady is wearing number 16 today”. I should have been given special access, like Mike Reiss.

-Larry Izzo looks short, until you realize he is made of pure steel.

-Jerod Mayo didn’t impress, although there was not a lot tackling overall. Shawn Crable on the other hand looks to have all the physical tools.

-The competition for backup QB is fierce. Kevin O’Donnell is the real deal, but Matt Cassel knows the system and is a Brady clone except for his performances during the regular season. Matt G is a dynamic player, very Jeff Garcia-esque. It will be interesting month as this thing hashes itself out. My thoughts? We should trade for Favre.

-My relationship with the sun remains a tenuous one. Two days of intense sun exposure has me feeling cooked.

The Superliga semi final was enjoyable. The Revs picked up a well deserved victory. Mexican club Atlante was a crushed team by the 70th minute despite only being down by 1 goal. Atlante later resorted to immature tactics and disgraceful professionalism after the final whistle. Revs Defender Jay Heaps picked up a red Card after the game during the post match brawl. It would be a shame if he was forced to miss the final Tuesday night against Houston. I think this tournament is great, with the exception of the intolerance shown by drunk Americans and Mexicans alike. This situation thus proved the fact that Ignorance is the one true nationality.

I paid under $4.00 a gallon in both Mass and RI. Tell Shaq my ass tastes like the sour injustice of $4.23 a gallon in CT. Exxon can take that 11 Billion in the 2nd quarter and shove it. And M and O are talking about Paris Hilton. And I get stuck with Joe Lieberman. At this point I would prefer Matrix-esque mechanical overlords....

96 days out. Can you feel it?

My goodness....

2008-07-25T08:15:00.000-07:00

First a fight in the WNBA and then in a Single A baseball game. In these troubled times, It is great that sports fans can enjoy the civility of NFL Training camp. With that said, if the world of science has actually created a piss test for HGH, get ready for the NFL to regress into the 1960's.....Just another reason to watch soccer....

Livin' it up in Hard Hittin'

2008-07-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

The U.S. Open Cup is the worst marketed professional athletic contest in America, and maybe the world.

The competition allows soccer teams from various levels to compete for the Lamar Hunt Trophy. It is one of the oldest actively participated soccer tournaments in the world. Yet like most multi-league “in country” tournaments, the U.S. Cup takes a back seat for most clubs in our top league, Major League Soccer. Coaches routinely go with inexperienced players, and players coming back from injury. Tuesday nights match between the MLS' New England Revolution and the USL's Crystal Palace-Baltimore was no different.

The match was played in New Britain, Connecticut, and only 2900 people showed up. 2900 people wouldn’t fill Morrone Stadium, on the campus of the University of Connecticut Huskies, let alone Veterans Stadium at Willowbrook. Thus, New England Revolution coach Steve Nicol only had two starters in his lineup Tuesday night against low level club and heavy underdog Crystal Palace-Baltimore. If there was to be a criticism of the match, it was that U.S. Soccer/MLS does not do enough to get the word out when U.S. Open Cup games at all, let alone matches played at these neutral sites. Yes, the fact that the New York Red Bulls lost to CPB last week did dampen excitement for the match. However, the story of a USL second division team playing an MLS powerhouse should have been enough to get 5,000 people to the stadium.

The Revolution regulars who took the pitch were Taylor Twellman and Khano Smith. Each had a frustrating night. Despite jumping out to a 1-0 after 6 minutes, the Revs were unprepared for CPB’s chippiness and tenacity. The scrappy underdogs didn’t fold...to my delight. They tied the game just 15 minutes later. CPB’s left sided attack tore up the Revs, particularly defender Rob Valentino. Khano Smith proved once again he has million dollar talent but a 10 cent brain. Drifting in an out of play, he was a non factor in the 2nd half, only to be substituted for his lackluster effort. Twellman was scrappy, but was undone by an organize CPB back four.

As a major upset grew more and more a possibility, I started rooting for CPB. Their dreadlocked forward Gary Brooks was a joy to watch, especially once taken off as he bantered with fans in my section. The game went into overtime, with each club having good opportunities to break through. In the 120th minute CPB substitute midfielder Sergio Flores was sent off. Seconds later Nicol amazingly took Twellman off after playing the entire match. It seemed inexplicable to most in the crowd, …..why in the world would he take off his best scorer on the verge of penalty kicks?

Of coarse Nicol said afterwards it was all about giving the young guys a chance. But if he really wanted to win, why not put Matt Reis into the match late in overtime? I figure on some level the US Open Cup games become a burden for a team that has lost four consecutive MLS Cups. It didn’t end up making a difference, as Revs back up goal keeper Doug Warren made a huge save with the PK score 4-3 in favor of the Revs. Warren had played pretty well to overcome some difficulties in controlling the box earlier in the match. Mauricio Castro closed the match with a cheeky chip shot PK that had CPB’s keeper headed the wrong direction.

It was an interesting match. The inexperienced members of the Revs showed quality poise in overtime and in PK's. I have officially jumped on ESPN's Brian Kenny's idea to take players off the field during overtime. going 8v8 in overtime would be an exciting way to end the game in the flow of game action, not by the even more contrived notion of PK's. CPB played great, and diserved a better opportunity to win in the flow of game action.

Like most sporting events in CT, the kid to adult ratio was 2:1. The vodka for sale was an interesting touch. In the end, it was premium American soccer at a discounted price in a relic of a venue. It was as good as it gets for New Britain. Next year the games should be promoted for real and held at one of the local university stadiums. I mean my goodness, Marrone Stadium was recently named the 4th best stadium to watch soccer in the country.

A New Age in Baseball

2008-07-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

The Tampa Bay Rays are for real. The Yanks and Sox age is showing bigtime. I know its July, but I will say this...

Jason Varitek is done for all intents and purposes as an offensive player. He has become Tony Pena. I wont bore you with the mind numbing stats, but its time to call up George K to get some AB's and push the Captain until the end of the season.

The Yankees offense looks like the Lakers at the end of game four of the NBA finals. Even with todays 2-1 win, I have never felt better about having a rookie Sox picther face the "heart" of the Yanks batting order, this includes the Mel Hall years....

The Sox offense scored more runs without Ortiz.....actually the rest of that statement is insane. They need him bad.

All of MLB is transitioning big time. Former Sox prospect Hanley Ramirez is the leagues best player....Edison Volquez is most exciting pitcher......A-Rod is getting a divorce...I mean, what else will this season bring?

After the god awful Pete Vesey Podcast, Simmons went huge with the great Rob Stone. I've talked to Stone at the great Morrone Stadium on the campus of the University of Connecticut Huskies, and at the PBA tour stop in Norwich. He's the man. totally down to earth, and the only reason I would ever watch bowling,.... let alone drive to Norwich.

The 08 version of the Stephan A Smith draft clip was fantastic. I couldn't go this year, and with the C's winning the world championship it was not a top priority...

Summer Movie Series

2008-07-02T13:22:00.000-07:00

So I have been sitting around enjoying my new Comcast Digital Package. This afternoon I watched one of the most epic sports films of all time, the original Bad News Bears circa 1976. This movie had everything, comedy, drama, gambling, baseball, high brow art, low brow art, classical music, and a drunk hanging around kids.....all in the same film. I had a student named "Tanner" this year. Watching this film on cable for the first time in years lead me to the following conclusions....

Why does Buttermaker only have Rudy Stein as the only alternative pitcher? This is Mindboggling. What an idiot.

The wife of Coach Turner was smokin’….That guy was a giant D-bag.

The perfectly executed relay by the Yankee’s in the bottom of the 6th of the championship game was totally the blueprint for the Tom Emanski's defensive drills video.

Miguel Agular’s at bat in the bottom of the 6th was a precursor to Kevin Millar in game 4 versus New York in 2004.

"Chico’s Bail Bonds" has become one of the top 5 fantasy sports team names ever…

I am naming my first child Ahmed

Many people today are often shocked by the language, alcoholism, and child abuse exhibited in the film. I think it did wonders for breaking millions of gen X'ers out of the isolated shells of their suburban existence. Thus, it wasn't The Empire Strikes Back. Klosterman was wrong. What did I get when I was in need for such realism? the formulaic ridiculouslness of Growing Pains and Family Matters...

The new Costas show comes out this month with a show on Baseball. I know, this is the groundbreaking originality we have come to expect from HBO. I think the biggest problem with baseball today is the amount of time spent taking about the improvements needed in the game. It would be foolish to pin point any one area, with the exception of domestic development. Like the country, the game of baseball must transition smoothy in the next few years away from its recent drug related troubles. No Sport should be looked at as "pure", unless your 7. However, there is so much enterainment out there that the powers that be in MLB better start thinking progressively. The MLS is on the rise.....

C's Draft

2008-06-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

Round One
JR Giddens-6'5', more notable for his off the court issues then his game. He better be able to play D or it will be the D league for worse or this youngster. I gotta say, the best bet was a backup center, maybe even a Euro. But Who Cares,....Si Se Puede!!!

Trade-Sent cash to Washington for Bill Walker-6'6', more notable for poor injury background.Then again, so was Leon Powe.

Round Two
Semih Erden-7'1'-(Turkey) See you in 5 years, unless the US dollar continues to fall quicker then a Rajon Rondo break out for a layup.

The Giant Awaken?

2008-06-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

For a decade and a half I have lived under the allusion that the United States men’s soccer team was a potential giant in International futbol. There have been pretenders, Ghana, South Korea, or Japan. I just figured that increased exposure to the sport via the World Wide Leader in Sports, a stable domestic league, and advertising money would build the USA into a powerhouse. Now in terms of Concacaf this has been accomplished. Stomping Mexico here at home has become routine. Beating them in Mexico has proven a different story. The Mexican national team does not lose at home. This is a hurdle I would have hoped to clear at this point. It is strange how expectations change.

This has been made more complicated during the Euro 2008 championships. It has been a great tournament. However, with the emergence of Russia to the Semi-Finals, the international futbol fan must take a great warning. The current Russian squad is well coached, and more importantly, the youngest team in the tournament. They have looked uneven and outmatched at times, particularly against the Spanish. However, their dismantling of the Dutch was a masterpiece. They forced the Dutch to resort to their all too regular tactic of aborting teamwork in favor of individual glory. I very impressed by the Russian attack. If that nation continues to progress, consider them the next great power. Despite the weather in Russia, they seem to have the size and certainly the willingness to be a futbol powerhouse. Money has flooded into Russia since 1991, and soon it will be the world’s most dominant oil producing power. Only time will tell, but this tournament may be the coming out party.

Its time for the Americans to step up....

Ubuntu

Even More Scalabrine

2008-06-19T09:37:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought it was over...

Fantastic!

2008-06-18T14:35:00.000-07:00

The past 10 months were the most trying of times for The Dude socially and professionally.

The saving grace was the 2007/2008 Boston Celtics. On 6/17/08, the night before the last day of the school year in my district, an incredible team demolished a competent rival and cruised to a well deserved victory. It was totally worth the pain of the Rick Fox/Dino Raja era. The entire organization contributed and they should be a commended for their work this season. Now its it time to crank TDKM, take the T, and enjoy the rolling rally…

Ubuntu!!!

More BS

2008-06-16T14:28:00.001-07:00

The Media Giant himself has come to TDA!!!

Clutch

2008-06-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

My ablity to speed home and watch the last 5 holes of the U.S. Open playoff,.....totally clutch.

Monday proved that like me, Tiger Woods was once again totally clutch. The question is, did Kevin Garnett learn anything? 1-4 on free throws in the last five miuntes last night. Lets go KG!!!

The Fox 5 coverage of the post Mets Double Header player, manager, and GM interviews on Sunday was hilarious. Yo Wilpon...Keep Willie,...this has Isiah Level comedy written all over it...All it is missing is a Law suit....

Time to start the bus.....

2008-06-13T15:10:00.000-07:00

The Boston Celtics are one win from an NBA Championship, the Red Sox are practically unbeatable at home, the European Soccer Championships are getting good coverage on ESPN, and summer vacation is 5 days away. June…Where Freedom Happens.

I missed the 3rd quarter of game four, only to be woken up by having water spilled on me while I was sleeping. Thankfully, I caught the entire 4th quarter. It was magical…

Ray Allen’s drives in the 4th quarter were remarkable. James Posey’s three with just over a minute left was pure stones. Think Posey gets a start in Game 5? I do.

Its time to take it home...

Hold the Glue

2008-06-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

The first four hours of the Belmont Stakes were wonderful. It was the perfect place for my first horse race. I found a sweet spot that gave me a 180 degree view of the final 200 yards. The spot was so sweet that I was not going to be able to move. So there I stood, against a railing looking out at the second deck of the venue. From 12:00 to 4:00, I really enjoyed myself. There was a bit a breeze, I was in the shade, and there was a sense that good things were happening all over the park.

Then things changed. Despite being totally stoked about the upcoming Belmont Stakes, the races got further apart. 45 minutes of standing between races started to wear on me. My horses started loosing with New York Knicks like consistency. It would have been fine to go grab some food or place another bet, but I couldn’t move. Soon, I would turn around and see ten people standing behind me. News of a Yankees comeback trickled through the crowd. The mood started to turn.

By 6:00 I was on fumes. The crowd went crazy each time Big Brown was on the two jumbotrons set up on the infield. The pomp and circumstance of the big race was lost on me. Everyone was standing, everyone was plastered, and I was on my toes. For the first half of the race the crowd was optimistic, ready to go crazy for Big Brown. With the horse loosing momentum, the jockey pulled up. Instead of the site of Big Brown dashing toward victory, I saw a defeated horse slowly galloping to a chorus of boos as it crossed the finish line dead last. Some people cried fix, others wondered out loud if the horse was hurt and should have raced at all. I picked up my bag and sloshed to a food stand. I was spent. Six hours in that kind of heat has been known to kill the elderly. As I sat down to eat and check my bets, the silence of the park was defining. It is tough to make 125,000 people quiet. I didn’t care who won the race. When Big Brown pulled up I thought the day had come to a disastrous conclusion because the horse that couldn’t loose had lost. I was naive. The real race was the trip home.

I went back to the second deck. With so many people dashing to trains, I could sit down. I figured if I left after the last race I could easily grab a train. I was wrong. Me and 75,000 of my best friends stayed. I wondered through an ecological disaster. I had gotten word around 3:00 that the bathrooms had been closed and people had started pissing on the doors. The garbage inside the park was only equaled by what had been left outside. If that Native American guy was there he would have spontaneously combusted. I walked out of the park a tired free man, only to be herded like cattle. Within 25 minutes I was able to get to a train, only to be forced to stand. This would not have been terrible if the train had departed on time. We waited for 45 minutes before leaving. It was a Seinfeld episode. So much for the ridiculous “trains will leave every 15 minutes” rhetoric of the state of New York. This was followed by a mad dash through the steamy subways of NYC. That place deserves its own reality show, “Survivor: NYC Subway System” I was able to get back to Grand Central Station a little after 10:00 and hopped on the train to New Haven. Two and a half hours later I was home; I regained my humanity, but was out hundreds of dollars.

‘Can’t wait for next year.

Motor Sports, Where Boredom Happens

2008-05-25T19:09:00.000-07:00

So, I was watching the Indy 500 this afternoon, and yada yada yada…I feel refreshed and energetic enough to work through the evening.

Although 15 minutes of the Coca Cola 600 may knock me out until tuesday...

Also, anyone want to start a petition to ban motor sports so the fuel is instead given to the American Working Man.

Muse was right...

2008-05-14T20:23:00.001-07:00

This is the end of the world...time to get Political...

Can somebody explain to me where Senator Arlen Spector gets off going after the NFL over Spygate when he is paid by American taxpayers and is in a position to:

A. Work on Fixing the American Economy...Which sucks right now by the way...
B. Work on accomplishing an end to the War in Iraq, The War in Afghanistan, the War on Terrorism, and the War on Drugs and paying health benefits to all the American victims who have been left physically and mentally scarred all of these events
C. Cleaning up the Environment, ending Global Warming...Climate Change, or whatever yor want to call the fact that the last ten years have been the hottest ten years on record...
D. Bridge the gap between the rich and poor in America...the time is now
E. Write effective illegal immigration policies
F. Saving American Public Schools
G. Investigating links between American coorporations and the profiteering of the murder of innocent people...
H.Investigating Barry Bonds....hell, at least Bond is accused of breaking actual laws in America...
I. Joining Ct's own Joe Lieberman in trying to start WWIII. Thanks for everything Joe!

And the List Continues...

This is why I hate the Congress. They are a group of egotistical agenda setters who whore themselves and the American public out to the nearest camera. They might as well be the cast of The Hills....

The C's are up 3-2. Still confident it is going 7.

BEST is over...

2008-05-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

I am done. I will never do it again. The ESPN resume has been sent out.

The C's look to take it to Bron Bron again for night. Lets hope the Boston Three Party can rebound from one of the worst offensive performances of the year.

Julio Lugo complaining about negatve press cracked me up. Somebody tell him New England is not Tampa...

Chris Paul was the MVP...

The Patriots draft has grown on me.

Without Mike Reiss, the ESPN Soccernet Podcast, and the B.S. Report I would never have survived April. Big ups...

There is no truth to the rumor that I have decided to move to Europe this summer to attend Euro '08.

Also, this weekend concludes yet another EPL season. It is hard not to look beyond Wigan to May 21st, but Sir Alex needs to make sure the lads close it out with style. Remember, Jesus Saves...but Christiano Ronaldo rebounds....and neither will lower gas prices...

Lets Go Celtics.....

Frustration Abounds

2008-04-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

After three rounds I officially hate the Patriots draft. Sure, Jarod Mayo may pan out and be able to play both Outside and Inside Linebacker. However, the next three picks were crazy. Terrance Wheatley was picked too high, and Shawn Crable is no Dan Connor. Trading the 69th pick was foolish, unless the 5th round pick from San Diego makes the team, which is doubtful. Kevin O'Connell? Projected as a 5th rounder, the Pats take him in Round three? Plus, are you kidding? a QB? Can he play special teams? block?

I'm no longer drinking the cool aid. Why not just trade out of the draft altogether and stock up for next year?

The End is the Beginning

2008-03-22T11:16:00.001-07:00

the Ying...

UConn loses its point guard, composure, and game. That is three straight post regular season Tournament losses for Calhoun.

And the Yang...
Lost in the madness was my Fantasy Baseball Draft, a stiringly good time. Team "KG for President" will be competitve led by Santana, Halliday, Ichiro, Magglio Ordonez, Billy Wagner, and Joe Mauer. Mike Lowell is the teams Boston Representative. Optimism abounds....

The Boston Three Party Cometh...

2008-03-21T10:49:00.000-07:00

Texas is the heart of the Western Conference in the NBA. This week the Boston Celtics became the first team since the '01 Sacremento Kings to sweep the Texas Triangle of the Spurs, the Rockets, and the Mavs. KG and the Truth were fantastic, playing incedible two-way basketball. Big games by Leon Powe, Sam Cassell, and James Posey allowed Ray Allen to come back against the Mavs fully healthy. Allen's huge late three pointer against the Mavs capped his return to the lineup in grand fashion. Next up, MVP candidate Chris Paul and the New Orleans Hornets.

I have picked the UConn Men to run the table and win the National Championship. That said, they could very well lose their first game.

Enjoy the weekend, between basbeball drafts and basketball, it is my favorite weekend of the year! BEST Portfolio be damned...

Bada Bing!!!

2008-03-09T19:23:00.000-07:00

A forty point drubbing of Memphis following the destruction of the Chicago Bulls friday night (Which I enjoyed from section 115) has the C's looking ahead to a week of Philly, Seattle. Utah, and the Bucks. The most interesting match up is obviously Utah, lead by the great Deron Williams...the anchor of "We must Break You", my rag tag fantasy team.

Sunday saw the UConn Men's team rebound from the midweek disaster at Providence with an inspired performance against the Bearcats of Cincinnati. Sitting in section 25, I was amazed it was the same team. Hopefully having their manhood challenged so late in the year will inspire them to some big things this week in America's armpit, New York City.

Enjoy the week, it is a basketball fans dream....

oh yeah....The weekend saw some ridiculous upsets in the English FA Cup. Man U, Chelsea, and Middlesbourgh choked bigtime, especially Chelsea. Manu got screwed, but should have scored 3 goals before the desasterous 75th minute ruling for a penalty.

Good News...

2008-03-04T17:34:00.000-08:00

Randy Moss signs, I postpone my "trip" to Old Trafford.

Next week is the 1 year anniversary of the Knicks giving Isiah Thomas a contract extention. I might go to church just to thank someone for this blessing....

How did it come to this?

2008-03-02T07:52:00.000-08:00

"We Haven't Located Us Yet"-The Darjeeling Limited

In the past month I have learned a few things. Tom Coughlin can outcoach Bill Belichek. Kevin Faulk and Willie Andrews like the ganja. No NFL contract is safe. Hank Steinbrenner is a meathead. Roger Clemens is delusional, and so is Bob Knight. I learned everything is Not everything, Life Is a hustle, and the Alli-Opp was invented in Flint, Michigan. I also learned that the Super Bowl may have been a highpoint for the NFL, from which it is never to return. The league needed to see perfection, so did the Patriots, and so did I .

After an 18-1 season the New England Patriots have entered the off season a team in flux. Asante Samuel has bolted to Philly. Dante Stallworth will find the seam for the Browns next year. Kyle Brady is done. Randell Gay, Roosevelt Colvin, and Special Teams stalwart Kelly Washington will inevitable find a new employer. Junior Seau had shoulder surgery and is staring retirement in the face. More importantly Randy Moss is reportedly pissed off no deal has been made since he became a free agent. The horrific thought of Moss landing anywhere outside New England, especially Dallas, would be enough for me to move to Manchester, England. After last the off season, this is all very confusing. Maybe the 2007/08 Patriots were the great perfect storm of luck and talent, the juggernaut whose clock struck midnight 3 minutes too soon. Is the organization going all the way back to the drawing board? You might as well redraft the league and start anew.

The inability to convince the often injured Gay to stick around will have real draft day consequences. The opportunity to take over for Samuel apparently is not his motivation. The team is letting Eugene Wilson walk, so they will have lost past starters at DB, Safety, and DE/LB in the past two weeks. The team has the # 7 pick in the draft. However, the chances of the team making and keeping that selection are slipping away as they put itself in a position to have to rebuild every aspect of the D. The #7 pick for a late first and an early second round pick give them a chance to pick up some depth. They are going to need it. Plus, let’s face it, for all the hoopla about Belichek and Pioli being geniuses, rounds 3-6 have not produced much in terms of on field production in recent years.

As we see the complete tranquility of Red Sox Spring Training, it really makes me wonder what the Patriots are doing. We have seen this mentality before, and it ended with Champ Bailey picking off Tom Brady in the end zone.

Can I get a large Lobster Bisque please....

2008-02-19T17:00:00.000-08:00

Before I start, i ust wanted to say that This was one of the greatest things I have ever seen on TV. The build up was fantastic and the outcome hilarious. Needless to say, TV needs more stuff like this.

On with the show...

So this is how democracy dies.

Everyone looks one way and the next day everything they felt was sacred has been manipulated and changed without any regard whatsoever. The past three weeks I have raved about the importance of college sports in my life. Particularly, this has crystallized around the resurgence of the UConn men’s basketball team. However, in the past two weeks, two games the team has played with Big East opponents were unavailable to me on TV. Now Saturday’s thriller against USF was on ESPN. Smart for them, it was a good game. However, here I am spinning my radio dial to 1080 am to hear the rapid fire delivery of Joe D and Wayne for UConn vs. Depaul. As a person who didn’t miss a UConn men’s basketball game from 1991-2006 this has been a disturbing chain of events.

The culprit my friends…. is ESPN.

Yes, my beloved world wide leader (Whose headquarters is 20 minutes from my apartment) has decided to screw a lot of people and move what would typically be apart of ESPN’s regional programming to its burgeoning college sports network. Last week the men narrowly beat Notre Dame at Gampel in a great game. However, I had to listen to it on the radio. In a weird turn of events, despite being able to have greater access to sports in every way, I find myself being forced to resort to the most primitive measures to follow my favorite college sports program. Similar things happen with football this past fall.

I can follow the Manchester United Red Devils on MUTV every week and they play in England. That’s the UK people. However, I can’t watch a game taking place twenty minutes from my apartment (I live 20 minutes from everything awesome in CT, its fantastic). It is life under the totalitarian rule of EPSN. Local loyalties and conveniences are sacrificed for the bottom line of the “state”. Right now on ESPN southern powerhouse UNC Greenville is playing Davidson. Now, I am sure this is an epic meeting of mid-majors. But come on. How difficult would it be to get the local affiliate to simulcast the game? Your telling me they would loose revenue gained from re-runs of The King of Queens?

People rose up against the NFL network over the Pats vs. Giants in week 17. Congress got involved. That turned out great for everyone. Now this obviously isn’t going to be on the same level, but it is the same practice. I already pay Comcast 100 bucks a month. Arlen Spector and the boys down in the PA just don’t care.

Who is fighting for the common man’s ability to watch their favorite sports?

Are you Che or Winston Smith? It’s a tough one…

On to Slow Strikes
-Terry Francona needs an extension. He deserves it.

-Coco Crisp better be ready to sit the pine this season.

-The Schilling situation could only happen to the Red Sox. You don’t see Greg Maddox injury himself in November and not tell the team for 3 weeks.

-Shawn Marion is happy to have no chance of making the playoffs. I will never understand professional athletes…

The All Star Break Cometh

2008-02-15T13:14:00.000-08:00

I cannot say that the NBA's All Star weekend has got me jazzed to watch it for over a decade, but if they can duplicate Barkley vs. Bavetta, the fans will come away with something interesting. Anything is better then watching Magic Johnson squeeze into his old uniform and hoist shots from mid court.

The C's are 41-9. They lead the division by 13.5 games and the Eastern Conference by 3 games. The only discussion left to be made is the best play of the first half. I going with a game winner by UConn's own Ray Allen. That was sick. I'm excited for the rest of the season.

The Nascar Super Bowl is this week. I'm going with the Beer Companies to came away with upset victory over Walmart, and hopefully see the Makers of Napalm place.

Did anyone see the Pedro Martinez Cock Fighting video? One reason to live in the DR. My birds name? Little Pedro Martinez....Tamale's!

There is a Huge fight on Saturday. I have seen Kelly Pavlik fight twice in person and he has only gotten more dominent over time. I see him KO'ing Taylor in the 9th.

Senator Arlen Spector sucks beyonds words. I hope they find out Bill Belichek is really a terrorist, it might justify recent time spent to investigate the NFL. To say nothing of Henry Waxman, who works a media circus better then P.T. Barnum. I guess they got too bored investigating covert paramilitary contractors....

Christopher Shays....For Shame...For Shame...

Bill Belichek got the same fine as Scotter Libby.

GBTUSA

Strengh and Honor

Welcome Home

2008-02-11T17:23:00.000-08:00

There are moments in history that rock and those that are horrendous for mankind. Having seen the New England sports scene take a huge hit the past few weeks, and no I don’t just mean KG’s abdominals, I began to refocus my sights on an old friend, the UConn men’s basketball program. Throughout the years there have been more moments that rock then suck for Jim Calhoun and his lads. However, the past few years have been shaky at best.

This season the UConn men’s basketball team has already seen both tremendous defeats and tremendous victories. I must admit that after last season my expectations for the athletic program that has most shaped my life were very low. Calhoun's strategy of staying away from Junior college players, despite losing five players to the NBA Draft's first round in the past two seasons, forced him to recruit players at every position. I can understand his reluctance to scout the Juco ranks, with the Johnny Selvie years still lingering around Storrs like rotten mayonnaise. The program has hit some roads bumps in recent years. First with the stolen Laptop scandal a few years back, and this season's suspension of Doug Wiggins and Jerome Dyson. UConn is not Florida State, but the PR department has had to earn its paychecks lately. Not to mention the epic loss to George Mason that took the sails out of everyone and the inability to even make the NIT last season.

However, perhaps that is what has made the last two weeks refreshing. With the team facing trepidation on and off the court, the players found the depth and determination to play as a team. A desperate win against Marquette at home, and a huge victory at Indiana propelled the team to its first hot streak in two years. In many ways, the whole program seems to have turned a corner. With Jeff Adrian playing with confidence and A.J. Price showing everyone why Calhoun stuck with him, the team has found new life. Despite continued inconsistencies of players like Stanley Robertson (the most talented all around player on the team) and Cutis Kelly (Praying he can become Hilton Armstrong part Duex), UConn fans have found delight in the continued maturity of "The Monster" Hasheem Thebeet. Like the Chaldeans sacking Sumer,(Sorry, I taught ancient Sumer this week!) Thebeet has shown flashes of utter dominance. If this team continues to play team originated basketball, Calhoun could have one of his most exciting teams ever heading into tournament season.

The team has accomplished nothing and will continue to have to prove themselves at every turn, but I think this may just be a great 6 weeks for this program. If anything a good finish to this year will certainly re-establish UConn as a nationally ranked program to be reckoned with. It also sets up positive vibes for the future. Assuming none of these guys, particularly Thebeet, doesn’t jump to the NBA too soon, the team has a real chance to find a significant place in the program’s winning tradition.

I know I’ll be watching.

More on the Vent

2008-02-05T16:55:00.000-08:00

After a few days of soul searching, I decided on a official song of the 2007/2008 New England Patriots. Only Trent Reznor could encapsulate such grief and despair.

P.S. The UConn Women lost tonight to Rutgers. Ugh......

The Vent

2008-02-03T19:12:00.001-08:00

It was a bad time for Bill Belichek to turn into Grady Little

It was a bad time for Tom Brady to turn into Drew Bledsoe circa 1993

It was a bad time for Asante Samuel to forget how to catch a football

Also, why in the hell was former UConn Atheletic Director Lew Perkins sitting in the Manning familiy box?

Just an awful football game, in every way. Even if the Pats had pulled it out it would have gone down as one of the worst Super Bpwls ever. You cannot play 12 minutes of a 60 minute pro football games and expect to win.

At least we have the UConn womens basketball team to focus on.....Good Grief...

It is going to be a hellish spring. Do not be suprised if the apocalypse starts in May....

The Charisma Bowl

2008-01-21T06:14:00.000-08:00

For last two months the New England Patriots have dealt with the change of seasons in God’s country. They have gutted out hard fought victories. Yesterday’s win in the AFC Championship was no different. A bitter wind hampered the greatest passing attack in the history of the NFL. Tom Brady threw three picks and had a QB rating in the 60’s. They used their veteran experience to adjust to any difficulty their opponents threw at them.

Now, none of it matters.

The New York Giants are an enigma. They started 0-2. By October they looked like a hilarious precursor to the 2007/2008 New York Knicks. Then, they found an offense to go along with the leagues best defensive line. They found comfort away from the demonizing New York media. They have now won 10 straight road games, 3 straight on the road. They have established a wining attitude.

Now, none of it matters.

We are 12 days away from Super Bowl Forty Two. Do not expect any bizarre comments or locker room fodder coming from any of the players. Both the Pats and the Giants have head coaches who are down right mean about controlling their players. I will refer to this game as the “Charisma Bowl”, mainly because even with his oppressive personality, I think Belichek is far more personable then Tom Coughlin. These are going to be some fun press conferences….

In Week 17 these teams meant in the most watched regular season football game in over a decade. Playing in the “NY”, the Giants came out smoking, actually gaining a 12 point lead at one point. The Patriots, playing for perfection in the regular season, made some huge adjustments and overpowered the Giants in the Fourth quarter. The Giants scored a late TD and the game ended as a 38-35 victory for the P-men.

The only thing that really matters is that these two teams are playing the game at the highest level at the best time of the year. They will be playing in Glendale, Arizona. There will be no talk of wind, cold, or snow. I am looking forward to the possibility of seeing the New England Patriots from September and October 2007. That team played the most dominating football I have ever seen at the pro level. This game could be as lopsided a Super Bowl as has ever been played. But don’t get your hopes up, it won’t be. The Patriots under Belichek do not play blowout playoff games, let alone Super Bowls.

Both teams will be ready. Now we just have to deal with the media onslaught. Overnight the Giants became media darlings. Eli Manning is now the “hottest quarterback in the league” according to the World Wide Leader. You will also hear the “I’m picking the Giants, so that makes me a rebel football analysis guy who is playing coy and trying not to look ridiculous for picking against a team that is 18-0.” radio and TV personality. It will sound like this,

“Now I know this is gonna ruffle some feathers here,… and I am going out on my own here…but I am Picking the Giants. They had the hardest road to get to the Super Bowl, and Eli Manning is playing like a number one pick, the offensive line is matching the intensity of the incredible D-line. This team dominated the Packers and the Cowboys!!! I gonna say it, and I hope nobody in New England shoots me over this….The Giants will beat the Patriots.”

And they will be wrong. Lame historical coincidences won’t work. Even the Ewing Theory. The Giants will play up the “us against the world” moniker. Its doesn’t matter.

In 12 days the New York Giants have to beat the New England Patriots.

It won’t happen.

My prediction….Patriots 38, Giants 35

Now let’s play the game already….

The Rise of Glen Davis

2008-01-06T09:33:00.000-08:00

They call him “Big Baby”, but Saturday night Glen Davis's nickname should have been “The Closer”. Glen Davis, a guy I compared to a 6’5’ version of Darko Milicic in November, scored 16 4th quarter points to force the Celtics to a 92-85 victory over the Pistons in a performance that would have had Cinco Ocho dancing a jig. Davis finished with 20 points on the evening. The victory by the C’s snapped an 11 game wining streak by the Pistons and avenged the loss in Beantown December 19th.

It was a virtuoso performance by Davis, who despite seeing major time off the bench early in the season had seen some of his PT usurped by Planet Pollard in recent weeks. Davis’s energy and girth was too unorthodox for the combination of Pistons giants down low. The skilled Davis’s ability to finish around the basket led to two incredible three point plays in the final minutes to secure a victory. Coupled by the scrappy play of Captain Paul Pierce (19,9,and 7), the Celtics were able to rebound from KG’s early foul trouble. While it was another difficult game for Ray Allen (9 points), the performance by Davis will also continue to call into question the play of Kendrick Perkins.

Perkins sparked the Celtics with 6 quick points on night, but only scored one point the rest of the entire game. His predictable moves, lack of energy above the rim, and KG’s foul trouble allowed the Pistons to dictate the tempo for three quarters. With some solid veteran big men available, both PJ Brown and Chris Webber were mentioned after the game by various reporters, it will be interesting to see if the organization continues to entrust the 5 spot to Perkins and the rookie Davis. I would like them to look at a guy like Hakim Warrick, a forgotten man in Memphis whose length would be great to have defending on the perimeter while providing above the rim energy the team lacks.

Other then that, there just is not much to complain about with this team now at 29-3.

The Bobcats come to town Wednesday seeking to revenge Ray Allen’s improbable last second shot that defeated them in November. Jordan’s crew has overhauled the offense in recent weeks, as the versatile (and Healthy) Gerald Wallace/Jason Richardson combination has taken full control from Emeka Okafor and Raymond Felton. It will be interesting to see how Charlotte approaches the Celtics without trying to establish an inside game. The C’s have struggled against the more athletic teams (Memphis, Cleveland, Jason Maxiell, Toronto, Utah) this year.

A Special Coda by The Dude

I won't be watching 60 minutes tonight now that Clemans will be testifying before congress. If that guy has the stones to lie to congress on National TV, then I will tip my cap to him. It is one thing to lie, but to make the lie so entrenched in every fiber of your being, ala Barry Bonds, is to commit to living without a past, to be a pariya in an interconnected world. Those who fabricate their own past and present tend to be unable to exist in the reality the rest us to, damning their future. As millionaires, that shipped sailed long ago. However, overtime they become diluted souls the rest of us openly mock (see Mike Tyson, Micheal Jackson) and take joy in seeing fall (See Mike Vick, Britney Spears). Now, I have long believed that the use of perfomance enhancing drugs is done by the majority of athletes in every sport and thus has no impact other then in the indivdual numbers. To vilify the juciers is to live in a dream world. Lets face it, They are who we thought they were! It is like watching "The Perfect Storm" and hoping George Clooney's character survives in the end. We watch sports for the drama on the field, not the stuff that happens beyond the light of the cameras. But to live a lie is to give up ones free will. It is that prison, the prison of the mind, that clemans, bonds, and the rest can enjoy for decades to come. That is why the truth will set you free and make you millions, ...............just ask Canseco...

Now to get back to feeling happy...here you go... Glory Glory Man United!

Strength and Honor

It’s Back

2008-01-04T21:27:00.000-08:00

Why no posts lately? No vitriol. New England is the center of the sports universe. It is like every Bob Marley song came true and a blissful utopia emerged. Baseball is still 7 weeks away, the Celtics have only three losses and the Pats went 16-0 during the regular season. With the Pats enjoying the Playoff bye, the C’s have taken center stage. Then I found it.

In the late 1980’s I was coming into my own. I discovered professional sports and rap music in 1987 and two things became clear to me. The first was that my relationship with the police was forever altered by Public Enemy. The second was that I was convinced the Detroit Pistons were Satan’s favorite basketball team. They played anti-basketball.

Now that the Celtics are climbing to the top of the NBA Mountain the Pistons have quickly become a focus of tension for me. A handful of years ago a new look Pistons squad revitalized the Eastern Conference with a very team orientated style of play. It helped that Rip Hamilton was traded to Detroit and became a fixture. However, under the surface a general dislike bubbled. There is also another irrefutable fact, Detroit is Detroit, whether it is 1987 or 2004, or 2008.

The rise of the Celtics led to a great game last month that the Pistons won on a savvy play by former Celtic Chauncey Billups with under 1 second left, nullifying a great Celtics comeback. Thus, Saturday night’s game at the Palace should be a good one. Look for Rajon Rondo to actually be playing late in the 4th quarter. I think Doc is more confident in the lad’s play recently. The Pistons versatility trumps the C’s, but not if Doc decides to extend the bench to include Davis, Scal, and Leon Powe to wear down the Wallace, J-Max, Delfino combination. I think this is a game Planet Pollard should see 7 minutes of play and foul out. If the C’s turn it into a slugfest, and Ray Allen can rebound from a horrid Friday night, I actually think the Celtics can prevail because they have more shooters. The Truth, the Allen’s, House, Posey, and Scal butcher the Pistons from down town. Like the Pats, the C’s are a finesse team that can win really ugly. It is the mark of a truly good team. With that said, Doc will probably want Rondo to push the ball and run the Pistons ragged. Ray Allen is the X Factor, as is coming out of halftime with some fire. It killed us last month.

Enjoy the game. It should be fun, if not an opportunity to start really hating the Pistons again.

Strength and Honor

Heady Times

2007-11-21T17:33:00.000-08:00

Everything is wonderful, with the possible exception of my 70 hour work week, The Wars, Famine in Africa, the decay of Western Civilization caused by country music, and the underexposure of witty sports blogs. Thus, for for the most art my life is peachy. The long awaited second season of the Boondocks is accessible via Youtube for former night owls like me. We have witnessed the another breath taking Red Sox Championship and are in the midst of the greatest single season of professional American football ever played. The Boston Celtics have been reborn into an NBA contender. Even UConn football is relevant on a national scale. It is like the 2007 Oscars and I am Al Gore. Gorgasm’s for everyone!!!!

However, it is still 2007, and with every second we are hurdling toward 2008. This means the Hot Stove is firing up and a joyous sporting nation turns its eyes to the 10,000 pound elephant in the room. What it is? Who is it?

Two Words…..One Man….

Johan Santana.

He is a two time Cy Young award winner….in the American League.

He also is in the final year of his deal and certinaly going to tbe traded. Only two teams have a chance at landing the lefty. The Sox and the Yankees. The good guys versus the long suffering losers who are dealing with a horrific karma/steroid induced curse. This is the stuff that rivals any modern day Kumate style slugfest.

The interesting thing is that both teams have the assets needed to entice the Twins. The Sox have a barrage of talented arms highlighted by No-Hittin’ phenomenon Clay Bucholz and World Series clincher John Lester. Coco Crisp would be included as the Twins are in need of a dynamic Center Fielder. Jacoby Ellsbury, the Dope Playa, is untouchable, but other quality arms in the system could be involved as well.

The Yanks will certainly counter with a combination of Ian Kennedy, Phil Hughes, and Milky Cabrerra. Joba “The Bug Magnet” Chamberlin is considered untouchable, and according to some reports, so is Robinson Cano.

It is insane that both teams are so stacked that each can not only complete a deal but also extend Santana’s contract. This extension will most certainly be the richest contract ever given to a pitcher.

After the C’s gave up the young prospects to get KG, everyone in New England is at the very least considering a similar move for the Sox. Of course the situations are totally different. The C’s needed to increase relevance and victories just to justify their existence. The Sox are on top of the Baseball World.

This just in, ……I outed Valerie Plame……..in my pants….

Sorry, Countdown just started.

I have no justification for using the word ‘Dope Playa” other then that Gus Johnson’s podcast with Simmons this week sent me into a tailspin back to the late 80’s when I randomly used the term “Dope” in every facet of life, especially at Sunday school and in reference to my half of a paper rout. Heady times indeed…

Scott Pollard owns……………a Buick.

The TDBNG will be insane on Friday. I plan on starting the “Beat LA Chant” at least 5 times.

George Washington Euthanized

2007-10-28T08:24:00.000-07:00

This was the first heading I saw on the ESPN scroll this morning. I have no idea what it means (Apparently it was a race horse). It was a strange way to start what could be such a euphoric day.

Last night the Rex Sox pounded out 10 runs on 15 hits for a huge win over Colorado to take a 3-0 lead in the World Series. My thoughts, before Mike Lupica just ripped them off on a national TV, were that Game Three was a microcosm of the entire Red Sox season. They got out to a huge lead, excitement for Dice K rose with every strikeout, the Rockies offense came to life and cut the lead to one, then the Sox (Spurred on my rookies Dustin Pedroia and Jacoby Ellsbury ) tacked on four runs late to put the game out of reach. Tonight the Sox and Rockies each send out pitchers with incredible back stories that has all making of a story book ending. It would be wonderful if Lester can shine as pitch lights out. It hasn’t happened this year, so I am not holding my breath. I have been impressed by aspects of the Rockies bullpen, especially the resurgent Matt Herges. who is apparently seeking to be overtake Paul Byrd as HGH player of the year. I think the Rockies may have the edge tonight as they try to save face. However, I said the same thing three ago, then Johnny Damon led off Game Four with a homer.

Sox fans…Prepare for Glory….

Oh yeah, the 7-0 New England Patriots play the Washington Redskins at 4:15. I love the match up, mainly because the ‘Skins secondary is strong, and should provide a real test to God’s passer rating. There may actually be real pressure on Lawrence Maroney and the Pats D to perform up to expectations. What a novel concept. It has trap game written all over it, except when you remember Belichek is the coach and God is the QB. Look for big Vince to get at least one sack on Jason Campbell. All world Richard Seymour is back, albeit in limited duty. Overall, I’m excited.

Reports out this morning have the Lakers ad Bulls talking about a deal that would send Kobe Bryant to the Bulls. Phil Jackson is pissed. Kobe will never be Jordan. I do not think this turns out well for either team or the Black Mamba. Any chance Danny Ainge can get in on this?

The UConn Football Huskies victory over USF at the Rench was huge. The fact this means UConn will be catapulted up the BCS standings is amazing. Words cannot quantify this situation. Next up, Rutgers on Saturday night. U-ConNNN!

As long as no dead presidents are euthanized this week, it should be all about euphoria and celebration.

“This time tomorrow, where will we be?”-The Kinks

Jonathan Papelbon owns...

Have a Safe week.

Threat Level Midnight

2007-10-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

'Beware the fury of a patient man.' - John Dryden

One thing was learned Saturday night at the C’s preseason game at the The Sun, NBA super stars look great in casual Jay Petermen-esque sport jackets and relaxed fit jeans. They should have made an announcement "Fans,....Prepare for Boredom!!"

Other observations
The fact KG and The Truth did not play destroyed the night and made everyone recognize the need for these guys to stay healthy all season long. It was worse then hearing the words “Staring Stephen Baldwin”

The existence of the Gold Club-Groton has certainly increased the levels of Ho’s and Ho Wannabes in South Eastern CT 10 fold. I love it. I also don't live there...

The best part of the evening was the announcement of J.D. Drew’s grand slam. The place erupted. It was torture sitting there, watching the likes of Willie Green torch the shotty defense of Eddie House, thinking about what was happening at Fenway.

It is tough to be recognizable. I was sitting in the first row of people who had not officially pimped for The Sun could sit. It was about 7 feet from the court. Thus, the likes of Mike Gorman, Tommy Heinsoln, and Greg Dickerson were constantly walking passed me throughout the evening. They were often yelled at by the people in the stands for autographs or the effervescent “Where Gary?” To my knowledge nobody yelled anything to Ryan Rusillo.

Glen Davis is less a basketball player and more a Mack truck. If he somehow looses 40 pounds he could be the second coming of Anthony Mason. But that is a huge “if”. And notice how I didn’t say Charles Oakley.

You have not lived until you have watched the MLB playoffs and played the ponies with the degenerates at the Sports Book. It was like being the king of an island made of cigarette butts. Simply awesome.

Quick Comment on Joe Torre
It was interesting that Torre and the Ellen Dog Situation(The most ridiculous story in decades to get wall to wall coverage) got more pub then the veto of increases to the S-chip program (Husky B in CT). It was most interesting that somehow people thought the Yankees organization would handle the situation better then to offer 1 year at a pay cut. You inbred negative stereotypical pauns for Mass Media Conglomerates, trix are for pimpin. The only way this was ever going to end was with Torre trying to take the high road. It was funny how he only needed about 2 seconds to do it.

Friday night saw a nice victory by the UConn Football Huskies over the once powerful Cardinals of Louisville. I gave up on this game on three separate occasions during the evening. It was good to see them eventually rise to the level of a team ready to make the jump. They still have some huge games coming up, but it was a nice first step, especially coming off a terrible 1 point loss.

The Miami Dolphins are currently an abomination.

As for the Sox, all you can say is “Game 7”. It is all hands on deck. Win or GFY.

Game Three

2007-10-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

Simply pathetic.

It was great to see Ortiz, Manny, Lowell, and Drew decided to get fine arts degrees at the "Nomar Garciaparra School of Swinging at the First Pitch in a Crucial Situation".

Also, if I hear one more time about Dice-K's exploits as a high school pitcher I am going to lose it. I don't care if he threw 300 picthes, it doesn't mean a pile of crap in America, especially if he can't get out of the 5th in the biggest start of his life. Joe Costig turned into Joe Buck by the second inning. I had to listen to the Mars Volta just to pass the time.

Until further notice Dice K will be refered to only as "Jake Westbrook's School Yard Biyatch".

We Strike!

2007-10-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

I am boycotting Fox for starting baseball games after 8:00 pm. It is freaking insane. I will be damned if I find myself watching a sporting event that started at 8:30 that could have started at 6:30. TBS has proven “people will watch” if the game starts before primetime. The fact that I was watching game 2 of the ALCS at 1:00 in the morning on Sunday blows my mind. Like getting hit by lighting, it dawned on me that every person who was going to watch the game would have done so if it started at 4:30 in the afternoon. Typically I would not care on the weekends, but it is still bizarre to be throwing down your game at an establishment for three hours and then have the baseball still be on when you get home. It’s wrong Kyle….Its Wrong! and I cannot take it anymore. The bizarre ass Manatee’s that run that network must be stopped…

Did it not feel like Youkilis lining out in the 8th ended game two? At that point I knew it was not our night. And would someone explain to me why Eric Gagne is on the playoff roster? I would rather have Kyle Snyder or the ghost of Smokey Joe Wood over a lush like Gagne. Coco Crisp also must bring it to the Cleve or you can expect Jacoby Ellsbury to see a few at bats this week.

UConn finally played a quality opponent and lost in a game full of mental mistakes. If they get called for a few less offensive penalties, UConn would have beat Virginia handily.

Is the “parody” in College Football destroying College Football? South Florida is ranked 2nd in the country. Somewhere Bear Bryant is throwing up…

The overexposure of Payton Manning is one of the great social ills contributing to the downfall of Western Civilization.

I cannot wait for an in game advertisement to start out with “It’s the most unoriginal drama to hit network TV in years”…

Many people have said that having hot women as sideline reporters in sports sets women back. They are wrong, this does…which then inevitably sets up this.

According to Calhoun Jeff Adrian is working on "His three point shot". Oh my god....

The Patriots are a juggernaut.

This week....Dice K is going to be lights out....Matt Cassell will get a ton of reps in practice....and I will read at least one article on womens basketball....ugh....

Th shamrock shake is only 5 months away!

I Hate New York

2007-10-09T15:49:00.000-07:00

This just in, Joe Torre just had Joba Chamberlin and Kyle Farnsworth start getting ready in the pen. Seriously, has any manger ever been rewarded more for trying to destroy a bullpen? I think Torre has to go, if for no reason other then that I am disgusted this is a topic of discussion every October after the Yankees are pasted by a team with half their payroll.

The question then becomes, who takes over the most storied franchise in American Sports? (My bowels just exploded). Insiders will continue to talk about the usual cast of characters; Tony Larussa, Dusty Baker, Larry Bowa, and Don Mattingly. Then there are the YES men, former Manager of the Year Joe Girardi and Paul O’Neil. For me, there is only one man who can fill this job.....….Bobby Valentine.

Bobby V has Three essential things going for him:
1. He is a true baseball man: The Yanks need to return to the NL style that pushed them over the top in the late 90’s. Torre has relied too much on Steinbrenner’s over the top spending and the constant flow of HGH, the Cream, and the Clear into the Yankee clubhouse.

2. He knows NYC: Bobby V cannot fold in the face of media pressure. This is a major factor for most who will be considered. Bobby V was respected by the media during his time with the Mets.

3. I cannot stand Bobby V: I think he is absolutely absurd. Bobby V is a cross between Peter Griffith and Mr. Burns. He is the perfect villain for people who hate the Yankees to project their vitriolic hatred for the Evil Empire. It was getting hard to hate Torre for his constant praise of Tim Wakefield and Jason Varitek. This will make it easier for everyone.

So there you have it. It should be a one horse field. I figure Torre can the join the Sox as one of Tito’s bench coaches……….Well maybe not.

Hell, I love seeing the Yankees loose in October, maybe Torre should stay. The glory of a Bobby V hiring is that the Yankee's cannot get more talented unless they get a dominate Ace like Santana, and the Sox can outbid them. They just become even more dislikable.

They should probably just keep Torre to ensure they fill the new stadium. I just wish this didn't become an annual ritual. They should bring A-Rod back to. They are following Connie Mack's guide to making money in Baseball; do good enough to appease rational fans without paying the playoff bonuses for the ALDS and WS. More power to them, because the Curse of Giambi is alive and well....

I’ve got a Golden Ticket…..

2007-10-06T21:07:00.000-07:00

“Got my indignation, but I am pure in all my thoughts…I’m alive”-Eddie Vedder

I saw “Into the Wild” Friday night at Cinema City in H-town. My reaction was not so much to immediately hop in my car and drive to the west and live off the land as much as it was to hop in The Soob and go watch the Indians trounce the Yankees.

There is a special feeling one gets watching the Yankees lose with a bunch of Yankee fans. Its like not being a drunk and going to an AA meeting. It is taking personal pleasure in the misery of a particularly soulless group of people. You are filled with pride; the joy of knowing your self esteem is at its peak performance. This far outweighs the self loathing that typically dominates my life, so a break in the clouds was nice. Of coarse the mammoth blast by Manny capped off the perfect sporting evening.

The funniest moment of the week was Marion Jones’s teary eyed confession on the courthouse steps that she was a juicer. As someone who read Game of Shadows, the announcement was about 4 years too late. I mean, did “she” even have actual credibility anymore anyways? Don’t all Track athletes these days supplement their Wheaties with massive dosages of the Clear? At least she did it to avoid 10 years in jail. Gold medals are not worth a dime in the joint. Somewhere Dwight Stone’s long national nightmare is over. The rest of us can continue to live our lives not caring at all that the Summer Olympics are under a year away from starting. The Over/Under has got to be 50 Gold Medals for China. I’m taking the Over.

Rodney Harrison returned to the Pats this week. He was a psycho before. I just hope he does not decapitate someone this weekend. Kellen Winslow is going to wish he was back on the bike….HGH is a hell of a drug….

The C’s look characteristically out of sorts in the first exhibition game in Rome. It will take time to work out the kinks. There were certainly flashes of brilliance, but no prolonged stretches of domination. It was interesting to see Tony Allen exploding through the lane so soon. I would have figured it would be more then nine months for his knee to stabilize to that level. Eddie House was also a pleasant surprise, though his D is a huge liability..

The Bruins are 1-1. I think it should be considered donating to charity to discuss the NHL in public. They are “caught between confusion and pain…paaaaiiinnnn…”

With all the losses so far this season by traditional powerhouses in college football, if UConn can some how run the table we will be talkin' BCS in January. Keep in mind they still have to play Virginia, Louisville, West Virginia, The Cuse, Cincy, South Florida, and Rutgers. I can taste the Orange Bowl.

The Cubs were eliminated by a young Arizona squad. I guess the Cubs organization should stop worrying about who is going to sing during the seventh inning stretch and more about some pitching and hitting in the playoffs. They will be happy to know Zambrano would have been strong enough to start in game 4. Nice work Sweet Lou, enjoy your Chi Town sized serving of GFY.

The Rockies are awesome. They do not play boring baseball. Too bad I voted earlier this year to have the team contracted for the betterment of the league. Opps!

John Oliver is still way funnier then Chevy Chase.

This week...The Sox move on to the ALCS, The Pats continue to take it to Pleasure Town, and I get less then 4 hours of sleep a night....

So Let It Be Written, So Let It Be Done.....

Hope was Right

2007-09-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

The 2007 Women’s World Cup has proved the importance of the Status Quo.
-Brazilians and Germans are tremendous at Soccer.
-The Aussies are full of heart.
-You always choose the hot blonde women from Washington.
-American Soccer coaches over think their tactics and act like idiots.
-The English Football Association can't field a team to get into the final four.
-Only losers like me watch women’s soccer at all, let alone at 6 in the morning.
-Rob Stone is the best.

Thanks to an improved team and an easy schedule, UConn Football team is 14 minutes away from starting 5-0. CT football fans still act lame. There is an elitist element to UConn sports that works with some of the other sports, but Football is a game of the masses. It's time to start some real traditions folks. Leaving in the 3rd quarter does not count. Plus, the rest of the schedule is brutal, with Louisville, West Virginia, and Rutgers in the mix.

Watching the Red Sox win the East was enjoyable, but I have never been a fan of "Lets celebrate like crazy for winning the division." Many a late September party has crumbled into an early October bitchfest. Despite the 12 year drought, I don't know if it was warranted having Cinco Ocho running around with a BUD Light box on his head. Now, if they win the WS at home this year, then obviously all bets are off….

I'm off to the place where the dreams of millions have been shattered like cheap Walmart wine glasses…. Atlantic City...Jermain Taylor vs. Kelly Pavlik, aka "the fight that saved boxing #24".

Also, some of the chosen few who read this have asked about the C's preseason game at The Sun. I am going to make it, I'm sitting courtside section 26. Oh to be able to blow my salary on sporting events!

So let it be written, So let it be done….

Don't Tase Me Bro....

2007-09-19T13:30:00.000-07:00

Your catchphrase of the fall ladies and gentlemen.

The recent swoon by the Red Sox has me wishing Tito and the lads could videotape opposing managers giving essential basestealing signs and specific pitching signs during thr game. PLAYoffs?

The recent news that Mike Terico is going to take the afternoon spot on ESPN radio begs the question, can a sports anchor's overexposure cause sports radio to suck even more?

I love the Mets. I could manage this team and win 89 games. What in the name of Billy Martin is Willie Randolph doing? The Nationals?...The Freaking Nationals?.......Meet the Mets....Don't Tase me Bro....

Is there a more bizzarre sport then College Football? It's nice to see Randy Edsall has followed the Jim Calhoun playbook; play awful teams early to build the fans hopes so they can be somehow disappointed when West Virgina puts up 30 in the first half.

The Notre Dame Fighting Irish suck. period. But maybe now I can get tickets for Columbus Day weekend.

I have been asking around to find out if Dustin Pedroia is the greatest 2b in the History of the Red Sox. Jerry Remy and Jody Reed have been getting plenty votes.

The Juice is out on bail. I'll have to hide my signed "White Bronco Chase" poster.

High School sports are a trip. They are the closest thing to organized fascism outside of the Republican Party. They amount of media coverage it now gets is a sign of the apocalypse. And yet, nationwide participation is up. Reason number 7 million as to why Americans cannot read. Just amazing.

The recent commericals to try and build excitment for the 2007/2008 Boston Bruins is pure comedy. Your Boston Bruins ...At least your not getting tasered.

The Celtics are coming...The Celtics are coming.....

-Just Win Today

Pats role....

2007-09-17T17:14:00.001-07:00

So the highlight of Sunday evening was watching Adalius Thomas excellerate like a sprinter after picking off Philip Rivers. Even a terrible loss by the Sox was not enough to dampen the fact that the Pats beat the Chargers down like rented mules. It was a sweet victory.

Obviously, Schilling should have thrown it in Jeters ear. Why is it that Pedro was the only Red Sox pitcher to recognize that intimidating Jeter was 90% the battle?

The second highlight of the evening was 30 Rock winning for Best Comedy. I have seen every episode, and feel it is the best comedy on TV not currently airing on FX.

Huge Day

2007-09-16T07:07:00.000-07:00

Sox vs, Yanks
Pats vs. Chagers
Schilling vs. Clemons
The Pats D vs. LT
Bill Belichek vs. The World
Tiger vs. The Field
The Colbert Report vs The Daily Show
Grays Anatomy vs. House
Alec Baldwin vs. His Daughter
Me vs. The 50 "5 paragraph essays" I still have to grade by Monday...

I could go on forever. It is simply one of those epic days during the year when all our modern escapist traditions come together in an orgy of entertainment that precludes anyone from getting anything done. It allows all Americans to feel like one of those saucy frenchman who spends everyday after lunch lounging around a local bistro drinking and smoking to their hearts desire.

And for those of you wondering, I will get the essays done. Those 35 Prehistory tests on the other hand will wait until Monday during my first period prep.

I was asked on Friday what I'll be watching Sunday Night. The plan is to watch the Red Sox and listen to the great Gil Santos and Gino Capaletti announce the Pats game. It is the best I can do to ensure both games get the attention they deserve.

Man United's early struggles seem to be working themselves out. Rooney's rehab is coming around and the lads continues to scrap out victories. This weekends performance against Everton was poor, but the victory was sweet nonetheless.

Following the President's lead, the Dallas Cowboys just announced a "Mission Accomplished" on the 2007/08 season. Great work T.O.

-Just Win Today

Revamped...Again

2007-09-15T07:15:00.001-07:00

I am done trying to cure the world of its ills. I just don't have the time or the energy. I will continue my progression into a total cliche with a sports focused blog where I rip off Bill Simmons and half a million others. I figure this is the forum that will best allow me to procrastinate to my fullest in this, the busiest year I will ever endure.....

Trapped Under Paper

2007-08-31T16:47:00.000-07:00

As a wee lad of 20, I used to think the beginning of each semester was like getting kicked really hard in the Mr.Beaumount and spending the next 17 or so weeks slowly recovering.

Now,as I enter my second year teaching, the 25 and 11/12ths me views the undergraduate me with a brand of contempt rarely seen in people who are not on perscription narcotics. What a whinny little bitch!. Despite my much improved situation, I feel as though I have on some level been placed in a microwave and am being slowly cooked from the inside.

As always, I will maintain....wondering how me at 26 will compare to the clusterfuck possibilities of me at 30.

Year Two…

2007-08-27T14:56:00.000-07:00

I have been saying it for years, and I was labeled a “pessimist”. Today, it is I who finally gets the last hour on the shrinks couch, because ….."We live in a Man Strangle Dog World"….Get comfortable.

Alberto Gonzales’ resignation ends the turbulent few years for this country and its embittered Texan, El Presidente. In the last two years exactly, New Orleans was destroyed and the amount of human suffering on the mainland was multiplied by millions. Then Don Rumsfeld had to be replaced for what can best be described as screwed incompetence. Like adding fuel to a burning terrorist started fire off the Mediterranean, El Presidente has seen his home slice Karl “The Dove” Rove, Tony Snow, and now Alberto Gonzales line up to jump ship. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. I think El Presidente should take some time off, it has been a tough 2 years.

A tremendous GFY to the US Men’s Basketball team for crushing Brazil and now setting its sights on those hoop crazies to the south, the tricolors of Mexico. This blue collar group of rag-tag multi-millionaires is quietly setting the world back on its normal axis. It is reversing the affects of Global Warming as you read this.

Man U finally scored another goal. Nice work Lads....Is Nani the new Cantona?

Is killing dogs and finding God akin to finding God and then eating a big plate of Chicken Parm? I don't think one can go without the other.

The Culture at Large

2007-08-23T20:09:00.000-07:00

So Hohan ends up with one day in the slammer. I say the system works. This allows for the potential of even worse offenses to be committed in the future by America’s greatest reason for, and escape from, the decline of western civilization.

As the summer movie season ends, it is time to look at the winners and losers.

Winners
-I saw The Simpson’s Movie three times. It was great each time. There was not enough Mr. Burns, but what are you going to do, nothing is perfect. Except for this.

-I sat in Transformers behind a group of thirty-something’s who had grown up with the cartoon. They loved it. The kids and teens did to. Despite my rational gut reaction to despise every pompous ass Brockheimer debacle since The Rock, I would have to call this a winner. It was one long commercial for various products, but cheesy summer flicks serve a purpose and this one did pretty well.

-Spiderman 3-was the best of the trilogy, but it was still bizarre. See summer flicks comment above.

-Pirates of the Caribbean 3- I liked it. It was a long film, and it had an epic quality. The conclusion was mundane, and some gratuitous Keira Knightly without clothes scenes would have made it way better, but Disney is a stickler for nudity. We’ll just have to wait for another remake by Joone, which I will enjoy for the dialogue of course.

Losers
The Adam Sandler bio-flick “Chuck and Larry” something. Just dreadful. This was clearly the work of the Awesemo 3000.

Oceans 13- Better then Oceans 12, but the Clooney/Pitt “we are so super cool we don’t have to make it look like we are trying, but in the end we could sleepwalk through the film and it would gross over 100 million” bit was only worth one film. This was like being spit on by rich pretty people. I feel violated.

The Bourne Ultimatum- Never before has a series of films made me wish so badly to fall asleep. I actually did fall asleep during the second one. I still don’t know what the point of this mess was. The fight scene with Bourne jumping through the buildings was ok, but I would rather be a male escort then sit through another one of these movies.

The Fantastic Four 2- Yeah, like I would spend money on this trite.

Recent Observations

There is nothing like watching a WNBA game that goes into triple overtime while you are waiting to watch a soccer game scheduled for a 10 pm start. It creates a special kind of rage every American should feel at least once.

A lot has been said about Michael Vick the past few days, weeks, and months. I especially like the idea that we are too quick to “judge” him. Did you read the affidavit? The dog fighting is illegal and bizarre if not horrific, but the gambling allegations are what is going to destroy his career if they ever find him guilty of it. The commish could give him a year suspension to go into affect after his prison sentence, which may end his career as a quarterback anyway. Rumor is that he will only be pleading guilty of crossing state lines with the intent to dogfight as a commercial venture.

Overall, I was amused by the “shock and awe” of people who didn’t think that something like this was possible. Young people with money are capable of anything good or evil, whether they are lame red heads, pro athletes, or 25 year old teachers who win the Powerball. (That’s right, I’m calling my shot for this weekend’s drawing. I figure fate loves confidence. )

The point is, trust the actions of no one. Everyone is just a player in the hustle, and everyone is capable of outrageously stupid behavior. Plus, the idea of due process is hashed out in the legal setting, not the most important court in the land, the court of public opinion. If you don’t want to be destroyed by the media and the public at large, don’t screw up, or move to Afghanistan.

Ask yourself, What Would Cliff Huxtable Do?

Vote Summer

2007-08-19T18:46:00.000-07:00

As my three week venture back to 1986 ends, I find myself wanting nothing more then to go back. I honestly would give it all up to relive July 2007 over and over in a more graphic version of the film Groundhog Day.

Things are interestingly easy when you get over not having a PC around. You read the newspaper more, and with more focus. I watched alot more TV, proving to the masses that this was actually possible. I fell out of my addiction to fantasy sports without the shakes. I actually watched more MLS then MLB. It was relaxing, and I didn't even have to leave the CT River Valley. I found that my mind worked differently. It was cool, I didn't feel the need to start the revolution. I was like a kid again, thinking about voting a Clinton into the White House and sitting on a porch eating plums like they were candy.

Then life shoots you in the face. I paid the piper, and got my PC back all fixed up. Life immediately returned to "normal", knowing that the events of August 2007 had rocked my world to its core.

I spent alot of time reading about the Enlightenment. Rousseau, though mentally unbalenced was actually right, man's need to use logic can cause further alienation. So lets throw reason out the door for now, as I take a plunge into a new wave....

Summer Quick Hits....

This has been the Summer of Daniel Sunjata. His role of Franco on "Rescue Me" has continued to destroy the show, while his take on Reggie Jackson on "The Bronx is Burning" has been huge for unintentional comedy all summer long. Despite this mediocore/generic tact, Sunjata has staked his claim to future straight to DVD action movies for years to come....

Hearing Scott Baio utter the phrase "Dizzy Broad" was a new high in the relm of Reality TV. I think if that show was on CBS, it would be the most watched show of the year. Chachi's list of past girlfriends is staggering, and should have been enough for him to have ended up on the honorable mention portion of my list of Greatest Americans Ever... my bad.

The Flava Flav resurrgence, and the tone it has created on how outsiders view Black entertainers, has set the African American community back decades. Some where Chuck D is sitting in a corner rocking back and forth trying not to cry.

This season of "Rescue Me" was supposed to mark a triumphant return, but I have got to say, this is turning out to be as uneven a season of TV as has ever existed. At least it has gotten me interested in the Nip/Tuck season this fall, but that is all.

The episode of No Reservation in Beirut is just awesome. One of the truest portraits of life in the middle east during the July of '06 Israel/Hezbollah war on American network TV. Gripping....

I hate the Yankees. "The Bronx is Burning" has sucked more as the present and past Yankee teams play better. With that said, Oliver Platt's clownish portrail of Steinbrenner is always good TV.

Frank Caliendo is actually talented. Who knew? And no, he is not realated to me despite our feakishly similar ponch.

If John Edwards wins the primary, he can thank Rolling Stone Magazine for the slurp job of an article in the last issue.

After watching Season Two of "Rome" on DVD, I have come to the conclusion that Mark Antony is one of the most interesting figures in History. Definately in the top 50.........mmmmm.....

I bought both a green and white KG #5 shirt this week. The Celtics are actually more on the mind then the Pats right now. Freaking wild.....

Please tell me what the difference is between Nascar and traffic?

If Tennis ever returns to the mainstream, it will be because this week's Pilot Pen in the Haven. fo' sure

Please tell me, is the MMA stuff human cock fighting? Can I bet on Little Jerry?
Whatever happened to Kevin Spacey?

There is only one thing to be said about the Sox right now...here you go...

Well, now it is that time of year again, time to get back to work...First assignment for the students....Name the top 5 Greatest Americans ever....

Deus Impeditio Esuritori Nulius....

Epic Stuff

2007-08-07T17:52:00.000-07:00

Highlights from Tuesday Night in the "Chi"

"Yes"-Joe Biden, aka Da Big Fundamentals...aka Barney Gumble

"Washington Insiders"-Barack Obama, aka The Home Country Advantage...aka I Must Break You...

"We are Withdrawing from NAFTA"- D to the K, aka The Jockey....aka I Make Soft Cookies....

"I'm your Girl"-Hillery Clinton, aka Max Power.... aka My Mullet Rocks...

"If we were a Parlimentary System"-Chris Dodd, aka The Great Nothern Hope....aka My Hair is Silver

7 people on a stage....Fat Teamters in bright green shirts....This is what dreams are made of...Best Debate Ever.....

Oh My God......

2007-08-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

Monday night was the annual semi -final double header of the Greater Hartford Pro-Am basketball league. In a night that has traditionally presented the most intense summer basketball in New England, Monday night’s offerings were uniquely mundane. The weekend saw some major upsets in the quarterfinals to teams led by the great Ryan Gomes, former UConn talents Edmund Saunders and Talik Brown, and former COC conference stalwart Izzy Charo.

The first semi final game pitted number one seed All Axxess, led by 2006 tournament MVP and recent LA Clippers draft pick Jared Jordan, along with Durelle Brown (Big Fundies) and John Zito against perennial tournament giant Cambyland led by the versatile veteran Charles “The Beast” Easterling. In some regard the crowd at Fox Middle School knew they may have been witnessing the de facto title game. The crowd was also much more subdued knowing both Club Blu and Liv Ya Life, both fan favorites, had been eliminated.

This first game was a closer then the final score would normally indicate. With both teams nearly square at the half, a late third quarter explosion by All Axxess prompted by a few deep threes by Brown and dazzling passes by Jordan let to a rout.

As for the second game of the night, team Attorney Daron Freeman led by New London’s own and former Rhode Ram Tyson Wheeler and recent Golden State draft pick Stephane Lasme were matched up with the Connecticut Knights led by former 5 time NBA All Star Vin Baker.

From the outset of pre-game warm ups I knew this game would suck beyond belief. I had seen Baker play this summer, and was thus mentally prepped for the onslaught of depression one gets by watching a player who has fallen as far as Baker. Once one of the most versatile big men in the NBA, Baker’s alcoholism destroyed his career, almost ruined the Boston Celtics, and continues to dog him. In June Baker was arrested for drunk driving while leaving Foxwoods. Despite apparently failing the breathalyzer, he is challenging the charges. A sad story that appears to be getting worse.

Unfortunately, the play was sloppy and without creativity. Baker lumbered up and down the court and missed several free throws. Many left before the game even started. I couldn’t watch for more then a quarter. It was just terrible.

How do I retreat from this haze of semi-pro basketball depression?

Three days of New England Patriots training camp……

Who says nothing good happens after 2 AM?

2007-08-02T20:43:00.000-07:00

I was up at about 2:30 in the morning a few weeks ago when I saw the final rounds of the World Championships of the WRPS (World Rock Paper Scissors Society) on ESPN2. Officiated by the great poker player Phil Gordon, the rapid fire competition was hardcore. Like any of you who has the played the game knows, most of the game is luck. However, there are plenty of opportunities to subtly get into your opponents head and “will” yourself to victory.

While on the surface the competition seemed very lame, the more I watched the more I began to recognize that RPS may be the greatest game ever invented. The more I examined the game, I found that the best competitors strategize in a way I never imagined. Percentages have been accumulated examining the "go to" choices for players. This is a game that takes total control of one’s emotions and actions to win. The competition takes a profound level of hand speed, composure, and confidence.

Further more, in order to be successful the competitor must enter into the competition with a strategy that can be easily modified to handle the natural hazards that certainly awaits the competitor. The games was presented as No Limit Poker, but cooler and more masculine.

The best part about the situation was that despite the intensity,…yes intensity, the resolution was met with a sense of peace and serenity. Both competitors shook hands. It was like the end of a series in the NHL playoffs.

It really got me thinking. Why do we decide to settle disputes through an ambiguous list of rituals, procedures, institutions, and laws? Mainly, because someone told us we couldn't do it through RPS. Kids do it. But we choose other methods, even if we can emotionally handle a crushing defeat at the hands of a superior RPS players.

The concept that the rational side of mankind determines a society’s fate is what binds the fabric of this country, and our tradition of democracy that was started long ago. However, this immense pride in our own rationality stops us from evolving beyond the institutions we have now. I have come to believe our current problems have long been the result of the fact that we are blinded by our own hubris. Hubris in the sense that we so strongly have bought into the supposed security and stability of our society that we cannot see the drastic advances that must be made.

What if the current status quo works to promote irrational behavior? If provided more legitimate means, could we rewrite our fate through the use of new instiutions that reflect new rationals?

Like Hoover during the Great Depression, Huey Long running Louisiana, Nixon going into Cambodia, Clinton receiving a hummer in the Oval Office, or Bush going into Iraq, hubris has long dictated the country’s fate or consumed our attention. Hell, it has in many ways dictated the rise and fall of every great empire since the begining of time.

However, our perception toward the legitimacy of our endeavor has rarely been challenged because we believe our inate rationality will win in the end. We believe the organization of society as we know it is as it has to be.

I wonder....

What happens when the irrational lead us?

What happens when modern life manipulates our institutions to a point that they cease to complement the progression of our lives?

Can common sense be destroyed by legislative procedure? When it does, what action is acceptable? Can action be taken by regular people against legislative procedure?

Can a country call itself “Representative” when it's population sprints toward 350 million?

All will be pondered this month…….Stay Tuned

Sports Fans…PREPARE FOR GLORY!......

2007-07-31T20:31:00.000-07:00

AS the Summer Turns...

About a week ago I had resigned myself to the idea that I would not be playing Fantasy Football this year. After 12 years, the practice seemed to be getting old. This correlated to my annual attempt to forget about my fascistic love of sports and become an even more enlightened person.

And just when I thought I was out….They pull me right back in.

Today the nation saw the Boston Celtics take a huge step in returning to the Promised Land with the acquisition of Kevin Garnett. The move vaults the team to the top three of the Eastern Conference. That said, the team still needs to continue to build. A veteran point guard and low post presence will be essential if the team is to lift the Larry O’Brian Trophy 10 months from now. The team will have to jell, but a tremendous amount of excitement is in the air. I am confident the addition of an all-time great in KG and one of the great shooters in history in Ray Allen will make The Truth an even better player. I fear Rondo is not ready, but he has 2 months to figure it out.

While losing CT’s own Ryan Gomes came as a surprise, he is eligible for free agency soon and I would not count out him coming back. Either way….

The 2007/2008 Boston Celtics….Championship…..

At the exact same time, the lads from the Fens pulled off a deal that saw Eric Gagne come to New England to be a set up man for Johnny Paps. This is a huge deal, because Gagne has had a fine season and is one of the best in the game when healthy. The day also saw the Yankees; also in desperate need of relief pitching, give away their most used relief pitcher Scott Proctor for a 25 year old 3rd basemen. It may be time for Brian Cashman to matriculate at NYU, or ESCU.

The Sox now have the best pitching staff in all of baseball, as long as Schilling comes back healthy. Now all we need is the offense to explode.

The 2007 Boston Red Sox…..Championship……

The 2007/2008 edition of the New England Patriots are now in camp. Bill, Tom, Teddy, Troy, Richard, Vince, Rodney, Mike, Ben, Donte, Adailius, Mike G, Lawrence, Eugene, Rudy, and Randy. We still need an Asante on board, but…

The 2007/2008 New England Patriots…..Championship……...

The 2007/2008 Boston Bruins……3/4 ain’t bad…..

And oh yeah…….“P.Manning Dog Fights”…….….Championship….

Strike Three

2007-07-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

She stole my heart and my cat.

The Greatest Films Since 1982

2007-07-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

The List

Numbers 14-1

14. The Breakfast Club-The best movie ever to watch over brunch on a Sunday. A film hadn’t captured the angst and idealism of youth since the early 1970’s, and this film put a supreme 1980’s stamp on the matter.

13. Schindler’s List-Great filmmaker, compelling story, difficult to watch.

12. Glengarry/Glenn Ross-Coffee is for Closers….Pacino, Harris, Lemon, Arkin, Spacey, and Baldwin. Written and Directed by David Mamet…Epic.

11. Rushmore-From the combined genius of Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson. Brilliant in every way.

10. Fight Club-A grandiose opus of modern cynicism and anarchy with two of the finest actors of any generation. It probably should be higher.

9. The Matrix-Every great Sci Fi concept smashed into one film.

8. Apollo 13-Made NASA relevant again. Hanks at his best since Big.

7. Platoon-Stone at his best…on shrooms and in the jungle….

6. Glory-Zwick’s best ever. One of the great casts ever, and awesome score as well.

5. Reservoir Dogs-Tarantino has his most cool. This film is a turning point in the history of filmmaking. Now, all those irreverent indie flicks get attention because of this movie. It changed how fans looked at film festivals, and how writers sought to create characters in their scripts. Pretty good for a film where 75 percent of it is shot in a warehouse.

4. Braveheart-No CGI, but the themes are still awesome. That said, Mel Gibson still sucks.

3. Gladiator-Ridley Scott takes the best of Braveheart and adds cooler names and Russell Crowe. Strength and Honor…..

2, The Shawshank Redemption-A tale of enduring friendship and hope in the face of tyrannical 1950’s Maine prison style oppression.

1. Pulp Fiction-A major human triumph in the history of the world….

Now I have to go see about a girl....

The Greatest Films since 1982

2007-07-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

The List

Numbers 25-15

25. Tennis, Anyone?- When this list is made in 20 years, this movie might be in the top 10. It’s “Sideways” with Tennis, and a funnier ending. Plus, its Zen message may end up being the way I live my 30’s.

24. A River Runs Through It-A great film top to bottom. It can be hard to notice though, because Brad Pitt is just so dreamy.

23. Do the Right Thing-A visionary film full of complex issues. Spike’s films always challenge the audience, none more then this one. Plus, Public Enemy wrote one of the top ten songs in the history of music for the film.

22. Unforgiven-The last Western that ever had to be made. Eastwood’s best

21. Dead Poets Society-Spectacular performances by several actors, including Ethan Hawk and Josh Charles, and the greatest performance of Robin Williams’ life. This film is an yarn about personal demons, education, and Latin. It famously brought “Carpe Diem” to the peeps to be used at graduation ceremonies for the next 15 years.

20. Malcolm X- Spike’s masterpiece. Visually awesome, and Denzel is in top form. This film led to an enlightening of the Simpsons Generation to recognize the legacy of Malcolm X is something to be celebrated.

19. Casino-Scorsese takes the Godfather Part II to the next level. Di Nero is great as Sam “Ace” Rothstein. Pesci is on fire…..so is this.

18. Lord the Rings: The Return of the King-I love the four endings, its Jackson’s best.

17. Goodfellas-And they said the mob doesn’t really exist. The frenetic story of Henry Hill’s rise and fall is so layered with the decadent, the callous, and the horrific. Great stuff…

16. Field of Dreams-If you build it….They will come…

15. Crimson Tide-Denzel and Hackman at their absolute best…on a Submarine.

Check back Monday for the conclusion to the List....

GFY...

Great Films

2007-07-18T09:25:00.000-07:00

First off….The Victoria Beckham TV special was amazing. This women is Jessica Simpson and Anna Nicole Smith combined, and she’s British. Living in America will destroy her marriage, and Team England in Europe ’08, but if they could run this kind of show every 6 months the world will benefit deeply.

Later on I was sitting there watching The Godfather Part II, generally regarded as one of the finest films ever, and it hit me. Should I do another movies list? This time not under the influence of twinkies?

My past lists on the greatest films ever are always riddled with films from the 1960’s and 70’s, and 80’s. This makes them hard to truly understand for my peers who fail to recognize that many of the greatest things in life existed prior to 1990. There is also a bizarre group of people I know who somehow feel that most aspects of our culture peeked right around 1969. Thus, their personal frames of reference for music, film, and television are as stodgy as a soaking wet pair of Birkenstocks.

So, this list will cover the Greatest Films Since 1982. The difficult task is to examine the best of the past 25 years in an attempt to highlight the most notable contributions to the culture. The hope is that this will show my elitist ultra modern friends that most of their own favorites are tacky and lame, while hopefully providing an understanding to my hipster friends that the culture has continued to present quality in our lifetime.

Things to know:

1. I trust nobody and everything I say is important. Viewing others lists posted on the web was meant for research purposes only. Film Awards are based on payoffs and have little to do with the quality of a movie. I spit on them.

2. I am a Man. One of the greatest agents of gender division in our society is film. Thus, I am biologically predetermined to be a fan of “Movies for Guys Who Like Movies”. Thus, if you are expecting something with Glenn Close or Jody Foster as the main antagonist, whose immediate target audience is anyone without a Y chromosome, prepare to be disappointed.

3. I hate horror movies. Sorry to Eli Roth, but if you want to really be scared, read a newspaper. The villain from “Saw” has nothing on Halliburton.

Very Honorable Mention

South Park: Bigger, Louder, and Uncut-Blame Canada! Revolutionary stuff….

A Christmas Story-I watch this movie in July, and it is still hilarious.

The Goonies-Began the Sean Astin/Corey Feldman phenomenon.

Donnie Darko-Creepy stuff….but very interesting.

Before Sunrise-The greatest date movie ever made.

The 25th Hour- For the scene with Norton in front of the mirror. Spike is the man…

Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy-The number of classic one liners is immeasurable….

The Departed-The Best movie theater experience ever….Will be on the list with time…

The Untouchables-Costner as Ness and Di Nero as Capone. The scene with the Baseball speech is classic De Palma.

Back to the Future Part One-F**king Awesome.

Bloodsport-I wanted to fight in the Kumite for 15 years after I saw this film.

Saving Private Ryan-The first 20 minutes is awesome, but then just watch Band of Brothers. The story sucks less and covers the entire European theater.

Sideways-I’m not drinking any F**king Merlot….because of this film.

Forrest Gump-….Just kidding…That movie was lame. Jenny dies of AIDS people!!! they were just too scared to say it. ‘Freaking lame Hollywood crap.

Check back this week for the Full List.

Hilarious

2007-07-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

The other white meat.

And Again

The complexity of Shagging to Radiohead

The 25 Greatest Americans Ever

2007-07-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

Soccer is the joyous expression of life.

I compiled research for about two days during the All Star Break creating the list. I showed the list to some folks at the Sox game Thursday night and they hated it. That was all the praise I needed.

Keep in Mind:

1. The truly greatest Americans will or have been lost to history. They are the masses who toil everyday seeking a better life. This list is simply a glorification of those who have inspired others to follow their lead. The list is based on the individual’s historical significance,(How they helped to shape life in the United States) both while living and dead. Ultimately, they each needed to have left a mark on the USA that is still being felt today for the list to have any credibility. So sorry to my homies from Lebanon, Jonathan Trumbull and William Beaumont.

2. Just because you are “Famous” does not make you “Great”. So, sorry to the Anorexic Socialite Coke Addicts, Most US Politicians, Athletes, Cable News Talking Heads, and the uber-hip indie film/music impresarios. Most of you achieve some level of fame, but will never be Great.

3. It is my belief that having a philosophy or conceiving original ideas triumphs the use of violence to achieve political, social, or economic ends. Sorry to Andrew Jackson and William T. Sherman, Any Chairmen of the FED, and Oil tycoons everywhere. However, like any Hall of Fame, some individuals with questionable ethics, motivations, and actions made it in the top 25.

4. The goal of the “Noble Lie” is to induce short term conformity and unite disenfranchised populations under the umbrella of the Institutionalized Status Quo. This is not a new concept, it goes back to Plato. What we see in the history of democracies is that the ISQ evolves as the disenfranchised populations’ rebel and new “Noble Lies” are created.

5. Thus, it is not that I have disdain for some of our storied “Founding Fathers”. It is just that I have long believed the ISQ has evolved beyond simple hero worship for the “Founding Fathers”. Yes they were there at the beginning, but they also left a mess. Thus, my inclusion of some 20th Century President’s who took as much as they gave.

6. Even with the self righteous statements made in 4 and 5, most of your favorites made the cut. This is out of both fear and an enriched historical perspective. It seems I am a far more brainwashed white man then I thought I was.

7. I am totally about the 20th Century. It is when the nation peeks in many ways. How is that for nostalgia?

Very Honorable Mention:
Malcolm X
Thomas Edison
Arthur Ashe
Langston Hughes
Nikola Tesla
Louis Armstrong
Frank Lloyd Wright
Upton Sinclair Jr.
Henry Ford
Sam Walton
Tom Brady

The Top 25

25. Woody Guthrie
24. Shirley Chisholm
23. Lamar Hunt
22. Jane Addams
21. Muhammad Ali
20. Alexander Hamilton
19. W.E.B. Du Bois
18. William Randolph Hearst
17. John F. Kennedy
16. Caesar Chavez
15. John Adams
14. Bill Gates
13. Hugh Hefner
12. James Madison
11. Noam Chomsky
10. Jackie Robinson
9. Mark Twain
8. Thomas Jefferson
7. Abraham Lincoln
6. Fredrick Douglas
5. Jonas Salk
4. FDR
3. George Washington
2. Benjamin Franklin
1. Martin Luther King Jr.

Thats it....thats the list........Mahalo

Summer Homework

2007-07-06T19:44:00.000-07:00

Who is the Greatest American Ever?

This is nearly impossible to answer. We have been so inundated with first the instituionalized hero worship and now the whorification of the country, that it has been easy to lose site of the important people who have had the most impact on the nation. We are all the products of what we see and hear, and our perspectives are often rose colored and hangover induced.

Why am I doing this? ......Because everything I say is important.

In the coming weeks, I am going to try to cut through the spin and revisionist history to create a list of the 25 Greatest Americans Ever. The devil will not be appearing on the list, I think.

The greatest super group ever will not make an appearence for obvious reasons.

Also, the makers of This would have made it, but then S.A.S convinced me otherwise.

And suggestions are welcome.

Thank You Optimus Prime....

2007-07-04T17:28:00.000-07:00

For making me understand what it means to be a human being, and an American. The world is indebted to you and the rest of the Autobots.

Lugo and Drew...D'Oh

2007-07-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

"The best thing that ever happened to Julio Lugo was the NBA Draft"
-E-Mailer to WEEI's Dale and Holley show

The addition of Julio Lugo has been Theo Epstein's worst, but not by much.

Need the stats?

2007 Season Stats
G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI SB BA OBP SLG
74 281 33 53 12 1 4 34 20 .189 .260 .281

This cat is making $8,250,000 this season and is in the midst of an 0-33 slump.

It's sick until you remember JD Drew is making $14,400,000.

2007 Season Stats
G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI SB BA OBP SLG
71 237 44 61 12 1 6 32 1 .257 .371 .392

This team was an enigma in March, and continues to be one.....Albeit a winning one. They are 10.5 up on second place Toronto, and 11 up on the 3rd place Yankee's.

Just wacky.

Commuting Scooter…The Reaping….

2007-07-02T15:38:00.000-07:00

George W. Bush is the best. It was great to see that while it may look like he has spent the last three weeks on vacation; our President is hard at work making the world better for his friends and/or convicts who lied for Dick Cheney. It only took a little over a month to again spit in the face of everything that America stands for. A convicted man now never has to go to jail. The American Justice System when corrupted by the entire Executive Branch….MMM..MMMM…GOOD.

I just hope Scooter Libby promptly flies to Kennebunkport tonight to personally suck on the President’s golden testicles ASAP. It is the least he can do.

I just love how this is another case of America gone wild. The hypocrisy of a well connected white male obstructing a federal investigation and not going to the pen while millions of poor and minority Americans waste away in the pen for doing less is symptimatic of life in 2007. It is no wonder Andrew Bogut doesn’t want to raise his kids here. We didn’t even get to see Scooter do a measly Paris Hilton-esque 23 days.

No doubt this will add to the 3,000 mile long list of reasons to lose faith in America. Thankfully, there is still this.

Good Grief........

2007-06-29T07:49:00.000-07:00

The text messages started at 1:30 in the afternoon while I was discussing the draft with Jerome Williams, The Junk Yard Dog, at the National Basketball Hall of Fame. I told him I was convinced, based on Danny Ainge’s comments late Wednesday night that the Celtics would keep the player they picked at the number 5 position. He didn’t see it. “When there is smoke there is fire” he stated. Well, as always, I had forgotten to trust the nine year NBA veteran when a question about insane NBA decision making is on the table.

The text alerts from various media outlets each considered the distinct possibility of the Celtics again being involved in a draft day trade with a team from the Pacific Northwest. I was worried. Danny Ainge is not Scott Pioli or Bill Belichek. The time and effort the Celtics organization spends on scouting the draft far outweighs their ability to scout the other talent already in the league. It shows in their ability to make good trades.This is a known fact around the NBA. Just look at the team on the floor. Ainge drafted Al Jefferson, Rajon Rondo, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Tony Allen, and Kendrick Perkins. He also drafted Delonte West, a player whose smooth game and humble personality endeared him to fans across New England.

Players Ainge traded for? Raef Lafrentz, Jiri Welsh, Ricky Davis, Wally Szczerbiak, Michael Olowokandi, Sebastian Telfair, and Employee #8. Plus, he signed Brian Scalabrine…to play basketball! The only player that made a real impact was Employee # 8, after the organization had originally dealt him away to Dallas.

As I got into my car to begin the trek down to New York City, I got a bad feeling. I mean, I like Ray Allen. I think he is the best player to ever play for the University of Connecticut and is a seven time All Star. I met him a handful of summers ago over at Storrs. All the former UConn players came back to campus in the summer. He is a real good guy. He beat Rip Hamilton one on one that day, then we went to Subway. However, he will be 32 next month. It is like Danny Ainge thinks it is 1999, or believes NBA championships are won with aging shooting guards who don’t play defense.

By the time I was trapped in gridlock on 91, I was convinced the deal had been made. I was irritated. I needed a sign. So I went to Hooters.

I love chicken wings. They are the great equalizer of men. As it was getting late, I stayed to watch the draft at Hooters. It wasn't MSG, but I didn't have to pay 200 dollars to get in either. The place was packed, it was trivia night, the Draft was one the big screen, and Newington's best were on display. By 8:00 my fears had been realized. The Celtics traded the rights to the #5 pick (Jeff Green), Wally, and Delonte to the Sonics for Ray Allen and the rights to pick #35 (Glen Davis).

The only response I could muster? These Pretzels....are Making Me Thirsty………….

Hey, I had been to the Hall of Fame that very same day. They could just rename that place "A shrine to when the Celtics were the model franchise in Professional Sports". Now I was watching the team gamble on a guy who had surgery on both ankles like a month ago.

The irony was unbearable. To quote the Wu Tang Clan, "the combination made my eyes bleed."

During his interview with the ESPN guys, Doc Rivers actually looked like a broken man. He literally looked like he had been vomiting with the rest of us all night long. He spun the deal as a necessary way of getting some experience while making sure Paul Pierce was protected. Great. Grand.Fantastic.

The Boston media did try to make out like this could lead to another attempt at Kevin Garnett. On FSN and Weei, the discussion questioned if KG would reconsider Boston with two great scorers to team up with? We better hope so. If is doesn’t happen, the Celtics will give up more points then any other team in the league next year. It's like saying it is hot in the summer. You do not have to be Nostradamus to make that kind of statement.

If the team doesn’t produce on the floor, no amount of spin will save Ainge and Rivers on this one. They need to get KG, or hope Jefferson becomes KG next season. After months of speculation, this was a bizarre evening for the Boston Celtics and their fans. Kinda like this.

Thank goodness the Red Sox are in town and the Yankees are 11 games back.

The Greatest Rock Band Ever Part Three

2007-06-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

Led Zeppelin

When the working man’s history of Rock and Roll is written, probably by me next year, Led Zeppelin will get its own chapter. This band took everything that existed in music in 1968 and took it to a plateau that has rarely ever been replicated again. Like all great bands from their time, this English band had its roots in the dark desperation of American Blues. The band members themselves were masters of their craft. Robert Plant was the vibrant, wailing lead singer. John Paul Jones was the master arranger and baseman. John Bonham defined what it meant to be the thunder god drummer in a rock band. Jimmy Page was the Occultist guitar master extraordinaire, even when hooked on smack. It was, as David Lee Roth would say, a 10. After beginning as a spin off from the group The Yardbirds, the group’s 1969 début signal a shift in the evolution of Rock and Roll.

Over time Led Zeppelin, along with their peers Black Sabbath, become the godfathers of long, riffed out heavy metal and layered progressive rock. However, over 1/3 of the Zeppelin’s collection are more acoustic folksy ballads. Overall, the sum of the bands parts created a bombastic style of music that could transcend genres and be played in various settings or styles while never losing its artistic grace. From 1969 until the death of drummer John Bonham in 1980, the group created a catalogue of music so profound that it destroys 99% of all the music created since. Most rock bands today will list Zeppelin as a major influence, but few will ever come close to the level of substance and style that this band reached.

Another important element of the band was how it changed the way rock bands were perceived. Picking up the early influences of the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin’s excesses off stage became the stuff of urban lore. Whether it was the bands direct connection to the occult, the much discussed mudfish incident, or the supposed hidden messages in the music, a dark and dangerous aura surrounding the group added to its perception as a band of unrestrained wild men. This sense of passion and excess is clearly represented in each of Led Zeppelin’s albums.

Things you should know:

a.As much as Led Zeppelin led the way in creating fully multilayered albums without the help of defined singles, there are so many “hits” in the catalogue that I tend to listen to the various greatest hits packages more then each individual albums. If questioned during a Three Kings style torture session, I would go with Zeppelin IV (ZOSO) as the finest album in the pantheon.

b. More then any of the other bands on this Beat Ever list, I enjoy the live concert versions of Zeppelin songs more then the studio recordings. Whether it was the Song Remains the Same footage or the Page and Plant Unplugged material (Unledded/No Quarter), I find that the truest nature of the group was captured live. This is where each member extended and improvised in an effort to raise the entire production to new heights. (Unfortunately the best live footage couldn’t be accessed on YouTube as you will see next.)

10. No Quarter
9.Achillies Last Stand
8.All My Love
7.Gallows Pole
6.Rock and Roll

5. Ramble On-ZII
I have never read the Lord of the Rings. However, this jam more then makes up for it. A classic tune built on literary references about a great quest against a source of evil, this song blends the folksier side of the band with a hard edge riffs and fluid base/percussion give and take. Not to mention the full octave range of a young Robert Plant.

4.Whole Lotta Love-ZII
The virtual and literal musical version of a happy ending. I like its message. The masses agree.

3.Dazed and Confused-ZI
A reworking of a Yardbirds tune of the same name, this eclectic blues tale of angst and longing builds from a dark melodic rant to a classic Zeppelin rock out with thunderous guitar riffs and a rolling baseline that allows Bonham to go absolutely crazy. The sense of musical experimentation throughout the song created an aura around the band that truley anything was possible.

2.Kashmir-Physical Graffiti
There were friends and colleagues who wanted me to make this the number one Zeppelin song of all time. It is a sprawling epic that captures Zeppelin’s ability to be explosively intense while still being in total control. The progression of the music is deliberate, while the inclusion of brass and string arrangements allows for the Middle Eastern influence to take the song to a new level. Plant called it the definitive Zeppelin jam. Who are any of us to argue? Recent performances of Kashmir by Page and Plant, like that on the No Quarter disc, have included large orchestras and a slew of Moroccan musicians. At this point I actually prefer these versions for their improvisational feel to that of the studio version. For this reason, I cannot put it at number one. However, I have made it the potential title credits song of my film “Go Beyond”, scheduled to start shooting in July of 2022.

1.Stairway to Heaven-ZIV
There can be only one, and this was a really simple decision. This song is so good that it has come to transcend the band as a whole. It has been analyzed so much that there is little I can add to the discussion. While the songs lyrics have been said to describe everything from an attack on consumerism, to lost love, and even devil worship, I tend to focus on the instrumental arrangements. The music builds from a melodic acoustic ballad to a thunderstorm of classic rock super power. The song shows the band in perfect harmony. This is why I actually prefer the studio version to many of the live performances, as it exemplifies each members ability to work together to craft a masterpiece. I find it insane to try and add anything else.

So there you go...Number three and rising.

Next up, the ulimate psychadelic band that along the way helped to create a little thing called progressive rock.

The Greatest Band Ever Part Two

2007-06-10T08:52:00.000-07:00

The Rolling Stones

If the Beatles didn’t influence your favorite band, then the Stones probably did. I have to admit, I am a Stones guy. The music is more straightforward and angst ridden then many of the groups of the 1960’s and 1970’s. They took the music world on a journey of excess and have not stopped. Simply put, they invented what it means to act like the biggest band in the world. Then they backed it up with music that was just as emphatic.

In a career that has spanned four decades; the Rolling Stones have established themselves the solid number two in the quest for the greatest rock band ever. Founded by Brian Jones in 1962, the Stones took the Blues and R&B and mixed it with a substantial level of aggression. Always a band that challenged the status quo, the Stones greatness is the attitude that permeates every song. Whether it was old people destroying the world or the sluts at the local pub, every song is the proverbial F$#% Off to somebody.

While the Beatles sought to craft artistic masterpieces, the Stones sought to push the boundaries of the total package of style and substance. While the Beatles drug use was seen as a means to an artistic end, the Stones excesses created music with a dark angst and sarcastic charm. With the firing and subsequent death of Jones in 1969, the duo of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards officially became the driving forces for the direction of the band. They ensured the band would tap into the trends of the times, and find a way to leave an indelible mark on everything.

The music that has been created by Jagger and Richards blends genres and perspectives. They are a garage rock band that can make a three minute song into an 8 minute opus of hedonism. They are the original no nonsense rock band that allowed for the progression of blues based music that would follow. The immediate response came in the form of Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, AC/DC, Aerosmith, and Queen just to name a few. This is the band that pushed pop music to its zenith before writers had to start developing genres in which to categorize sounds, attitudes, and lifestyles.

While the band’s ability to produce classic hits continues, so does the larger then life persona’s of Jagger and Richards. They have gone from being young hooligans to grandfatherly hipsters, but the seismic energy of their career continues to be the goal of every band that signs a record contract.

Some things to Know before you see my list:

A.I see the Rolling Stones as a direct link to development of heavy rock music. If there was no “Sympathy for the Devil”, would they have been a “Stairway to Heaven”, “Shout at the Devil”, or “Welcome to the Jungle”? I think not.

B. The Who are often called the Grandfathers of Punk Rock. I personally attribute it to the Rolling Stones, for the simple fact that they took the disdain the Establishment had for them and spit it back in their collective faces. Then they bought the Establishment’s house, screwed his wife, and shot his dog. By the late 1970’s the decadence of the Stones mystique was decidedly un-punk, but the early stuff created the evolution of the genre The Who continued.

C. The Rolling Stones contributed to the notion of Sex, Drugs, and Rock+Roll more then any band ever. Whether real or implied, It is a mystique that adds to what rock and roll is supposed to be….dangerous.

D. I love the dark sarcasm the early Rolling Stones.

10. Under My Thumb
9.You Can’t Always Get What You Want
8.Start Me Up
7.Jumpin Jack Flash
6.Mothers Little Helper

It was seriously difficult to be objective with the top seven. Each one could have gone at the top spot.

5.Street Fighting Man
Brilliant song. This is the Stones response to the government led lawlessness of the late 1960’s. In America we often forget that Europe was exploding as well. In a time before poor could depend on slingin' rock, taking it to the streets was the only option. This is an anthem for all who seek social change, and continues to be a thorn in the sides of the politicians who lost the faith and sold out their brothers and sisters in the streets. The band included. This song paved the way for the aggressive combat rock of groups like The Clash, U2, Anti-Flag, and Rage Against the Machine, who covered the song on the album Renegades.

4.(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction
The quintessential Stones jam, it frequently makes the top five of the greatest songs ever written. Filled with lyrics about sex and being pissed off at life, it has become a rock anthem for people of all ages.

3.Gimme Shelter
The power of this song seeming has no bounds. Whether you are listening to it by yourself on your IPod or watching is used perfectly by Martin Scorsese (Goodfellas, Casino, The Departed), this song creates a tour de forces shift in the atmosphere of your perspective on the world when listening. A once sunny day at the beach gets an edge, and desperation to find cover from the inevitable pitfalls of our world becomes paramount.

2.Sympathy for the Devil
Dabbling with the occult added to the group’s dangerous persona. However, the song itself is a masterpiece of storytelling. It has become a response to Dante, in that the sophisticated, manipulative Lucifer in the song doesn’t hide in the shadows but lives decadently in our modern times. This song personifies what rock and roll is all about.

1.Paint it Black
This song opened the door to the possibilities of the band. While utilizing the sitar, the song creates a creepy aura that is pushed forward by awesome riffs and the frenetic drumming by Charlie Watts. The lyrics are dark and brooding, and music is full of fury. The perfect combination for a song.

So there it is, the second greatest band of all time,..The Rolling Stones.

Next up the list, a group that took the genre of music on a Stairway to Heaven.

The Greatest Band Ever Part One

2007-06-06T19:43:00.000-07:00

I am going in order because I think my need to defend myself will grow over time, so I started out with a lay up.

The Beatles

The originators of popular Rock and Roll, the lads from Liverpool practically influenced every genre of music that followed. This is of course, with the exception of Country music, which was invented by the Devil when he failed to make it as a folk musician in the 20’s. From arena rock anthems to avant garde studio arrangements, everyone from the nerd, the jock, the goth, the pot head, to even the uptight bitchy slut could find an aspect of the Beatles music they could relate to. Even a regular joe like me, who rarely by choice listened to the Beatles growing up, has to recognize that the impact of this band on music is immeasurable. They are the greatest selling band of all time. This is despite the fact that they sought to push the boundaries of what was considered popular music throughout their career, or that they couldn't read sheet music. In TV interviews, everyone from the most drugged out metal head, to the most prepackaged talent-less pop star, to the modern rock genius points to the Beatles as a major influence. It has become one of the ultimate rock cliché’s, but it is true. They will be recognized as the greatest band ever until the Revolution, and maybe even beyond that.

This list was not as hard to create as I thought it would be. As I stated earlier, beyond a lot of the hits, I had not done the research. I hadn’t made sure to listen to every Beatles song on record until now. I think at 25, I can now only really begin to understand most of it anyways.

Like anything else, it is important to explain my list. Here are some things you should know that played a huge role in my decision making before I begin:

a. I am a George Harrison guy. Sure, the other members of the group got more pub and wrote more songs, but George Harrison’s contributions to the group’s transition musically was immense.

b. As such, two songs penned by Harrison have prominent spots on the list. Another song wrote by Harrison, “Something”, ends up in my top 15. Simply brilliant songwriting.

c. It is not that I discount the groups early years, but feel that knowing they had conquered the world gave them the gravitas to take it to the next level. Thus, the lack of songs written later then 1965.

d. I tend to reward music that has a message, especially if it promotes social change. Often this music is a little bit more sullen, always on the edge of falling into a chasm of pretentiousness. This list is chalk full of them.

10. Let It Be
9. With a Little Help From My Friends
8. Nowhere Man
7. In My Life
6. Hey Jude

The Five Greatest Songs by The Beatles according to The King.

5. Revolution-The White Album
Any song that references Chairman Mao so poetically makes the list. Comedy aside, a great example the social consciousness the group sought to explore.

4. A Day in the Life- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
This song is spectacularly bizarre. I don’t think “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “Comfortably Numb”, or “Paranoid Android” are ever made without it. One of the most important pieces of music ever written.

3. Here Comes the Sun-Abby Road
George Harrison’s ode to optimism written in Eric Clapton’s garden. I had a teacher in the third grade that made the class listen to this song every day after the Pledge of Allegiance. I smile every time I hear it.

2. Eleanor Rigby-Revolver
A dark song with a fantastic arrangement. This song invents the now horribly contrived Alternative/EMO genre. Somewhere Rivers Cuomo is trying to crack a smile as he hides in his closet. It is a short song, but it packs a wallop.

1. While My Guitar Gently Weeps, or this version-The White Album
I included the two versions because of the epic quality of this song. It can be a huge arena anthem full of power riffs and a hardcore acoustic ballad full of loneliness and desperation. In that sense I feel it is the quintessential Beatles song. It is so versatile, so quality.

So there it is. As you will see, when it comes to any of these bands, picking a top 5 that everyone would agree on is futile. As much as one can try to stay objective, it is nearly impossible when there is so many great songs to pick from.

Until next time,

Strength and Honor

The Ultimate Top Five Begins

2007-06-05T19:30:00.000-07:00

This weeks Podcast by Bill Simmons is freaking awesome. His conversation will the great Marv Albert, and subsequent discussion with his homie about the awful start to the season by the Yanks, certainly made up for that lame discussion last week with Alton from the Real World. YesSSS!!!!

Now on to the reason for this post. I was asked last week by a student who the five greatest rock and roll bands of all time were. I was torn. Normally I explode into my list. Based on my IPOD data, I consider the best rock and roll bands ever to be RATM, Pink Floyd, Radiohead, U2, and Tool by simple rate of airplay. Clearly there is a generational and genre bias at play here.

Now I consider my opinions to be profound, but I no longer consider myself a ego maniac. The situation in class became a moral quandry. Do I promote the groups I promote, or as a teacher, provide an objective view with the addendum that it really all depends on each person to create their own list.

I was objective, kinda.

The list I told the kids was the following,
1.The Beatles
2.The Rolling Stones
3.Led Zeppelin
4.Pink Floyd
5.U2

I told them any objective person would need to have the top two, but after that it would ultimately boil down to personal taste. I chose to look at what is the overall perception amongst music folks who write for Rolling Stone, Blender, Spin, and ughhh..MTV.com.Over the coming weeks I will expand on my decision and explore these five bands, trying to decipher the five greatest songs from each band.

However, first a few thoughts on the list.
A. Yes, the list has a European Bias. For whatever the reason, the British Isles have taken a musical form born in America (Rock and Roll) and created the most imaginative possibilities for its progression as an art form.

B. Yes, there is a Gender Bias. Beyond a few bands here or there, men have dominated rock and roll. As a male, and despite being raised my a single mother, I have been far more prone to being influenced by men then women when it has come to music. I currently have 680 songs on my IPod. Only 1 song is a song that is sung by a women. It is just impossible for me to put Heart or The Go-Go's over any of these bands.

C. No, the two greatest American band of all time, Rage Against The Machine and The Doors did not make the list. I had to be objective, and that meant putting my own tastes to the side as much as possible.

D. Yes, the inclusion of U2 is controversial. There were many worthy bands. The students were down right pissed off about it, like I had slaughtered their pets before their eyes. (The only area of life my students have shown any consistent sophistication is in their concepts on the world of music. It is a great uniter of populations.) However, if you can name a band that has dominated the music world more then U2 over the past 27 years, please tell me. It was also essential to include a band whose career has spanned the 80's and 90's. While watered down by more lame music acts and the horrors of the commercialization that made Britney Spears a Superstar, these decades were still filled with profound music by rock and roll bands that transcended the music world and came to symbolize the lives and issues that affected people during that generation. No band of the past 27 years has done this better then U2.

Until next time, this is that freaky beatnik the Culture King saying, catch you on the flipside you cool cats.....

Hitting the Fan

2007-05-30T14:35:00.000-07:00

It always hits the fan on Wednesdays. Day one of Senior Final Exams is in the books.

Kobe Bryant went on Stephen A. Smith’s radio show and said he wanted the Lakers to trade him.
Just for Fun, listen to the podcast and then check out the ESPN Trade Machine.

And Yes, The Truth and Sebastian Telfair for The Black Mamba works salary cap wise. The Kobe/Yi combination could be huge.

The Tennis Channel. The most ill-conceived single sport channel idea ever.

Best headline I have seen in a long time…”Stray Rod”. Good to see A-Rod is taking his social ques from Stephen Jackson.

The Red Sox are a juggernaut right now.

With that said, someone call WEEI, I have a Potential Trade- Coco Crisp, Willi Mo Pena, Mike Bodin, and Manny Delcarman or David Pauley for Ichiro. They then would need to call up David Murphy or Jacoby Ellsbury to be the 4th outfielder. Anyone who read Ichiro’s comments in USA Today knows he could be had for a combination of MLB talent and prospects. Other the Roy Oswalt, it may be the only chance the Sox can get even better before the deadline.

It would make for such a plethora of riches, I break out into laughter like Red on the Bus to Mexico just thinking about it.

Big up’s to The History Channel. The program on Star Wars on Monday night was awesome. This morning’s History of Iraq from the beginning of time until today was the perfect Pre-Exam show to get me focused to proctor the test.

Lets Hope Cindy Sheehan missed it, because if she thought the War in Iraq was a lost cause before…damn….the show makes it clear nobody with exception of the Ottomans has been able to rule that region of the Middle East with any confidence since the Assyrians.

Lindsey Lohan returned to rehab. Another football league, the UFL, is being created to challenge the NFL. Just another case of losers not learning from history. Nothing in life sucks more then wasted talent.

Remember, when your up against it, Coffee is for Closers….So go out there and sell!

Beginning of the End? Lets Hope So

2007-05-27T17:27:00.000-07:00

"Do not let our zeal blind us"-ME

“The View” is the worst television show every created.

Now, I have never actually seen a full episode. I tried, but had a seizure after about 15 minutes. Normally I would refrain from commenting on anything in this situation. I am not a “View” aficionado. They lost another overbearing wieght challenged host this week...in case you are reading this from beyond the grave. Anyway, heres why I hate it so.

1. It is one of the few shows that somehow works its way into every media outlet because of the lame qualities that draw the insane people who control our media. his show is covered by actual media outlets for creating news when the women start fighting. Local,national,international...it does not matter. It is pervasive.

2. The show has set women back 50 years. It has killed feminism. If Hillary Clinton every had a chance, it has gone up in flames. You want a women as President? Well, women in power have shown they cannot event co-exist on a morning TV show, let alone govern. Men have slaughtered for centuries, but we have never subjected the world to this. TV, Newspapers, and the Internet have covered the happening of these trifling ass women since its inception. Thus, it infuriates the inner chauvinist just by how much the show drags down the American culture. Thank You ladies....

3.The bizarre infatuation that both traditional and non traditional press has with this show works like a virus, destroying everything that is good in the world by its constant feeding on the souls of all people who watch television.”

4."The View” is life boiled down to a verbal cat fight. Are You Not Entertained? I swear to Buddha, if I have to see another “Breaking News” introduction followed by an analysis of the events on “The View” I am going to snap.

5. It may be the only show on TV controlled by people who have an tride and true evil agenda. I actually believe everyone associociated with the show, ....the hosts, the producers, the camera people, ...are all members of the Sith. The clip sums up their world view nicely. Elizabeth Hasselbeck is clearly Darth Vader to Barbra Walters' Darth Sidious. Rosie and Starr Jones ...obviously Darth Tyrannus and General Grievious.

Lets us all hope that this show is taken off the air and replaced with a meat rotisserie informercial.

Also...
After a thoroughly disappointing “fight” between Chuck Liddell and Quinton Jackson on Saturday night, I think we can put to the rest the idea that MMA is profoundly better then boxing. There has to be a happy medium. Thankfully, there is…no not “The View”…...it is call Football…and it can be seen every weekend from August until February.

Oh No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........

2007-05-22T17:52:00.001-07:00

David Stern exacts his revenge as the C's, Grizz, and Bucks fall out of the top 4.

The Celtics will pick 5th. Welcome to hell Doc....

And we thought 18 in a row was bad....

The Truth just asked for a trade.....

Oh, and ESPN coverage could not have been more terrible.

Time to vomit again....

On the NBA

2007-05-21T18:19:00.000-07:00

Over the course of the NBA season, many things happen. Young teams grow and develop, veteran teams make the push for playoffs, and injuries/bad front offices send teams plummeting in the depths of the NBA draft lottery. As we wait for the lottery tomorrow night, the hopes of entire cities rest on the bounce of the ubiquitous ping pong ball. The fate of the league in a handful of cities/regions could be decided.

A restful northeast region of the country, obsessed with sports, will take time out of the greatest rivalry in American sports to hold its breath. Picks one or two, and we are in business. Getting either Oden or Durant raises the talent level for the Celtics and certainly helps the teams overall profile. The current profile is that of a once proud franchise that succumbed to the most generic qualities of the NBA. What happens if we end up with picks three or above? Millions of people vomit on the spot. Danny and Doc spin the media like Karl Rove on cocaine. In reality, to quote the Talking Heads, “You may ask yourself…..How did I get Here?”. I say the C’s should trade the pick if this is the case. Although Dice K has worked out so far for the Sox, the C’s venturing to the Far East with the number 3 pick would come as a surprise. Under this dark scenario, the even more apt Talking Heads classic becomes its most clichéd.

As the playoffs started, the possibilities of fast paced action for two solid months were fascinating. Two months of the best the NBA has to offer. The early defeat of the number one seeded Dallas Mavericks by the Stephen Jackson led eighth seeded Golden State Warriors sent the basketball world into a frenzy. However, as the San Antonio Spurs outlasted the Phoenix Suns, every NBA fan saw the potential for a terrible NBA finals fall over the sports landscape like the black plague. Spurs vs. Pistons? Are you kidding me? What did we do to deserve this punishment? Our only hope is that somehow David Stern finds a away to FIX the Eastern Conference Finals. If anyone can do it, he can. Lebron vs. Duncan would create some excitement. It would create dynamic match ups that may lead to interesting basketball. I am trying to be optimistic.

Otherwise, lets all be happy the Sox are heading into the summer as the most dominant team in Major League Baseball. So, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no party, but lets hope it is the beginning of a new age for professional basketball in New England.

The cultural impact of a dominate Boston Celtics franchise is immeasurable. In the 1980’s it stomped out communism. Can terrorism be far behind this time around? I think not.

Go Celtics!

Tuesday Night Throwdown

2007-05-15T18:24:00.000-07:00

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

Best Podcasts ever- Bill Simmons, and The Axis of Justice Radio Network...
Watching the Karate Kid and listening to the Bill Simmons podcast.....exactly what our fore fathers desired in the summer of 1776.

Jerry Falwell died. Somewhere he is blaming "the Gays" for heart disease. One of America's worst.....

The great David Faustino, who brought Bud Bundy to life on Married with Chlidren, was arrested friday on possesson of the chronic. My childhood is now over....

So I finally saw Spiderman 3. It has a 15 minute section in it where Peter Parker finally grows a sac. It was awesome, even with the lame dancing.

If I had a 99 mph fast ball, I would play baseball....

Adam Carrolla's idea for the film "Pedoph-Isle" is hilarious, not unlike my concept for "Soccer Hooligans in Connecticut".

Listening to Micheal Holley fill in for Jerry Callahan has been great. It just proves the fact that 70% of Micheal Holley is better then 100% of Jerry Callahan, especially at 6 am.

The suspension of Stoudemire and Diaw for game 5 in PHX is huge. Look for Duncan to dominate.

'Been Feeling Uninspired...

2007-05-12T16:28:00.000-07:00

Two bizarre elements are at play right now. Being a slave to 'Da Man destroys my intellectual blogger energy. Whoring myself to play the game has been mentally taxing. Also, with fewer papers to correct as the year comes to a close, I find myself with fewer opportunities to procrastinate via a blog. Nothing gets my blood boiling more then grading 150 essays on various aspects of Family Law in America. Doing that had me acting like the Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania for months. Since, the rants have been far less jaded. This neutered effect has me again contemplating a purely sports blog(which has been done), as sports are working as the glue that keeps me from a multi-media censory overload. So, we will see.

A few observations from the week
-France has a new leader, and England will have a new leader this summer. I envy them.
-The War in Afganistan is still going on.
-Paris Hilton is going to jail. Our Long national nightmare is over….
-The less said about Dancing with the Stars...the better the world will be...

Here are some instances of genius in our culture that I found this week.

-“Looking good Billy Ray"
-“Feeling good Lewis”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6oJZsFYy6U

My early vote for president goes to…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RlVtsAvKfs

ohhh baby….Ohhh Baby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYpwjB0IzoU

Hail to the Champions, this intro should be replicated in America.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeGdc_kUXRc

Oh no!!!
“I got that same feeling on this film I got when I was doing Armageddon”-Michael Bay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZp75fWe-ss&mode=related&search=

The song that keeps on giving
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKy73uTOhDc

Almost makes me want to be vegan…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lcg1xQJnow

Tankman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7Mf9j8co70&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcS0NzoSJcU&mode=related&search=

A new season of the best show on TV, Rescue Me, starts up in June. Time to get the song from the credits stuck in my head….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sE4dfRa56D8

Why stand on a silent platform? Fight the war….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztBOAkBokF4

The King On Marriage Vol.1

2007-05-08T17:28:00.000-07:00

Before delving into the complex nature of Marriage in America, the King will start slow with an observation on an issue close to every mans heart.

One aspect of interest has long been the American family. Defining a family is a constantly evolving process. The only thing that has remained a constant is the social acceptance of older men marrying younger women.

I for one applaud this circumstance. Why? Not necessarily because my own 60 year plan involves such a scenario, though it definitely does. It is because of Dennis Kucinich. Is there anything that man cannot do? (Other then become President.)

You see, marrying a women 30 years younger then you takes skill and experience. The kind of skill and experience every man, no matter what their politician or religious affiliation may be, appreciates with vigor.

As long as our society is a patriarchy that pays superficial lip service to the idea of equality, men like Kucinich may be mocked for being vegans or their eerie resemblance to one the Keibler Elves, but may also be the standard by which all the hopes of single men everywhere lie. No matter how old you are, you can still marry a 30 year old when your sixty, and enter a pantheon commonly only open to aging Hollywood movie stars and Hugh Hefner, glory be thy name.

As sure as I am that I sweat education, I am sure that this scenario will continue to be played out over an over and over again to the admiration of dudes everywhere.

BYAH!

The Power of Sorry

2007-05-07T15:37:00.000-07:00

“I am sorry.”

This phrase has become the most powerful phrase in the English language. We have apparently decided that as long as someone says they are in fact sorry about something, then forgiveness can be found with time and patience. Mel Gibson, Jason Giambi, Robert McNamara, and Howard Stern. All of them are fools who acted with great hubris in their fields of business or personal lives, only to be exposed and then capitulate later. All of them are clear examples of how the American people would rather forgive and forget then deal with reality of long term consequences. America has become a land of apologists. Nobody recognizes what respondsibility looks like anymore.

My kids are disrespectful in school? I’m sorry.
I failed the test…Its ok, I teach to mastery.
Our leaders are corrupt…forgive us.
I’m a Pimp…….envy me.
A 45 year old pitcher is going to be paid 152,000 bucks a day…..he is worth it…just don’t ask us about steroids..

Now I am pretty progressive, but I wonder how we can close the wounds of a population of American’s who seem to content with promoting tendencies that eat away at our mutual integrity.

I am going to the mattresses on this issue. The foundation of a putrid individual character has got to go beyond economics, technology, and education. I say this because a person with only one of the three elements can still be civil. Even yet, a person without any of them could succeed in being an exemplary human being.

I also wonder if the idea that things have gotten worse is a myth. I see awful behavior from children and adults all day. I partake in this mess myself. But have things always been bad, and we just feign indignation? Have you read Shakespeare?

All I know, it that it is not video games, the Ebola virus, Rap or metal. It is time to explore this issue in reality. This time folks...its bigger then hip hop.

What we do in life, echoes an eternity....

The Prez has become The King

2007-05-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

This blog will be devoted to the major developments in the American culture and it's impact on the progression of all mankind. Like my past blogs, I will try and cover a few of key topics of interest, but I will be focusing on Music, Films, and Sports. I will have links to political sites and articles written by people more in tune with Washington then me.

To the right are links of interest. They will often discuss things I will not here.

"The Greatest Things Ever" will be a list of the things I am enjoying at the moment.

The Videos will often be music or sports clips of incredible value to humanity.

The articles links will offer a variety of content. It will use "American Culture" to surf the web for topical news stories. I have no control over which ones are selected.

The basic mantra for this blog is as follows:
If you want to start a revolution, try to get hired by CNN first!